The holidays are looming and you’re wondering whether you should get dad a men’s robe or a men’s poncho. You don’t have the budget for both, much less a blanket. We hereby present you with a solution: The Robloncho. It’s the ultimate in athleisure for men.
Dollar Shave Club, the irreverent grooming-gear-by-mail service, is adding clothing to its line of razors and face moisturizers. And while “clothing” may be a pretty loose term for it, the Dollar Shave Club Robloncho is the combination robe, blanket and poncho every dad has desired in their secret dreams. But considering it’s a limited run that drops Friday, you’ll want to jump on it ASAP to wrap yourself in the manliest leisurewear ever invented.
Think of the Robloncho as the Turducken of leisurewear. Made of 100 percent cotton flannel, the Robloncho looks like a standard poncho from the front and, in fact, would look as at home on Clint Eastwood as it would on a soused Matthew McConaughey. What truly separates the Robloncho from a mere wearable blanket is the fact that it has deep front pockets to keep your paws warm. Those pockets, according to Dollar Shave Club, can even be used as potholders in a pinch.
At 42 inches wide and 71 inches long, the Robloncho should have pretty good coverage for most dudes. Its robe-like front opening makes it easy to get on and has a decidedly Obi-Wan Kenobi feel. Also, in case you’re worried about quality, the Roblancho is made with pride in Los Angeles.
The one place where the Robloncho seems to overstate itself in in the blanket category. Sure, when stretched out to its full length it will have a blanket-like quality — on one half. The bifurcated quality of the other side — the robe end, so to speak — may make it a little bit difficult to provide adequate coverage.
Either way, the Robloncho is a ridiculous hybrid with what looks like about a bajillion uses. A compelling case for the multiuse factor is that it’s reversible. You can wear it with fun, yet reasonable stripes facing out or you can rock the business gray side and let the stripes flash occasionally.
I could see the Robloncho coming in handy during a football game. It would also be wildly appropriate for a movie night at home or just hanging out with a cup of morning joe. I would assume that it would take a certain type of guy to really try to rock the Robloncho outside of the house. I would do it for sure. But I’m the kind of guy who likes stunt fashion like Swoveralls, and Shinesty holiday suits.
All I can say is that in terms of a freshman effort, I like where Dollar Shave Club is going. If this is how they intend to dress their dudes, then I am here for it and I can’t wait to see what comes next.
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