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50 Short, Dumb Jokes Kids Love Anyway

Your kids haven't heard these before — even if you definitely have!

Julia Barnes for Fatherly

The best part of being a parent is telling corny or cringe-worthy jokes to your kids. When your kids are still really young, they love dumb jokes. They’re hearing your short, obvious jokes for the first time. You’ve got totally fresh ears — unless your fun uncle beat you to the punch(line). Kids haven’t yet learned that they’re clichés and potentially hundreds of years old. Take advantage of these precious years and tell as many bad jokes with puns for as long as you can. Savor this moment. Soon enough, your kids will think you’re the most embarrassing person on the planet. Your jokes will bomb so hard that you’ll feel like a stand-up comedian. There are plenty of animal jokes, dad jokes, and so many puns on this list. You could even keep one of those jokes in your back pocket for the perfect situation, like dinner or if you see a chicken cross the road. You have a lot of options, so choose wisely.

50. What do you call an old snowman?

 Water!

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49. Why are ghosts such bad liars?

Because you can see right through them.

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48. Why is Santa always so happy?

He likes to live in the present!

47. How do you catch a whole school of fish?

With bookworms.

46. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

45. Why didn’t the zombie go to school?

He felt rotten!

44. What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner’s on me!

43. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? 

Sneakers.

42. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Because he felt crummy.

41. How do mountains stay warm in winter?

Snowcaps.

40. Why do artists constantly feel cold?

Because they’re surrounded by drafts.

39. Why did the pony get sent to his room?

He wouldn’t stop horsing around.

38. What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

37. Why do fish live in saltwater?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

36. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?

That hit the spot!

35. Why can’t a leopard hide?

Because he’s always spotted!

34. Why should you not let a bear operate the remote?

He will keep pressing the paws button.

33. What is a robot’s favorite snack?

Computer chips.

32. What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod.  

31. What does a nosey pepper do?

Gets jalapeño business!

30. Why did the banana go to the hospital?

He was peeling really bad.

29. Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?

He was looking for his buddy Pluto.

28. What are the two things you can’t have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.

27. Where do you learn to make banana splits?

At sundae school.

26. What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don’t take me for granite!

25. What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?

A stega-snore-us.

24. Why do seagulls live by the sea?

Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels!

23. What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

22. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

 To eat the chickens on the other side.

21. Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

20. When will the little snake arrive?

I don’t know, but he won’t be long.

19. What’s the biggest moth in the world?

A mammoth.

18. What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit?

A bunny ribbit.

17. What type of markets do dogs avoid?

Flea markets!

16. What do music and chickens have in common?

Bach, Bach, Bach!

15. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?

They have two left feet.

14. What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A do-you-think-he-saw-us.

13. What did one penny say to another penny?

We make cents.

12. What kind of lion never roars?

A dandelion!

11. Why did the clock go to the principal’s office?

For tocking too much.

10. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash!

9. What do you call a funny mountain?

Hill-arious.

8. Why did the man run around his bed?

He was trying to catch up on sleep!

7. Why do dragons sleep during the day?

So they can fight knights!

6. Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?

Because she’s always running away from the ball.

5. What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt!

4. Why is the grass so dangerous?

It’s full of blades.

3. Why is it so windy inside a sports arena?

All those fans.

2. Why did the student eat his homework?

Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

1. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm.