Jokes! Kids love ’em – especially dumb ones. And luckily for parents who like to show off their dad jokes, kids have pretty low standards. They’re generally eager to laugh and not too critical of short, stupid, overused one-liner jokes. Take advantage of these precious years and tell as many bad jokes to your kids as you can. We’re talking puns, knock-knock jokes, any of those classic dumb jokes that would make any sane adult groan. Savor this fleeting moment when bad jokes are still met with laughs. This collection of dumb dad jokes for kids will get you started, but when the stakes are this low, the options are limitless. Study up, and keep some of those stupid, silly jokes in your back pocket for the perfect situation which is, well, pretty much any situation.
50. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
49. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy.
48. How do mountains stay warm in winter?
47. Why do artists constantly feel cold?
Because they’re surrounded by drafts.
46. What do you call an old snowman?
45. Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.
44. Why is Santa always so happy?
He likes to live in the present!
43. How do you catch a whole school of fish?
42. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
41. Why didn’t the zombie go to school?
He felt rotten!
40. What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner’s on me!
39. Why did the pony get sent to his room?
He wouldn’t stop horsing around.
38. What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A lawn moo-er.
37. Why do fish live in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
36. What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod.
35. What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business!
34. Why did the banana go to the hospital?
He was peeling really bad.
33. Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
He was looking for his buddy Pluto.
32. What are the two things you can’t have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
31. Where do you learn to make banana splits?
At sundae school.
30. What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite!
29. What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?
28. Why do seagulls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels!
27. What bone will a dog never eat?
26. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
To eat the chickens on the other side.
25. Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?
Lack of concentration.
24. When will the little snake arrive?
I don’t know, but he won’t be long.
23. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
That hit the spot!
22. Why can’t a leopard hide?
Because he’s always spotted!
21. Why should you not let a bear operate the remote?
He will keep pressing the paws button.
20. What is a robot’s favorite snack?
19. What’s the biggest moth in the world?
18. What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
17. What type of markets do dogs avoid?
16. What do music and chickens have in common?
Bach, Bach, Bach!
15. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
They have two left feet.
14. What do you call a blind dinosaur?
13. What did one penny say to another penny?
We make cents.
12. What kind of lion never roars?
11. Why did the clock go to the principal’s office?
For tocking too much.
10. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!
9. What do you call a funny mountain?
8. Why did the man run around his bed?
He was trying to catch up on sleep!
7. Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights!
6. Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
5. What did the zero say to the eight?
4. Why is the grass so dangerous?
It’s full of blades.
3. Why is it so windy inside a sports arena?
All those fans.
2. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
1. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.