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50 Hilariously Malodorous Fart Jokes for Funny Kids

Unlike a fart, these jokes don't stink.

Julia Barnes for Fatherly
 

While every child is different, there are certain things that seem to unite kids everywhere: getting sudden bursts of energy at bedtimethrowing tantrums at the least opportune moment, and undying love for fart jokes. Like stepping on LEGOs or listening to “Baby Shark” on repeat, unrelenting potty humor come with the parental territory.

What makes fart and poop jokes and puns so funny is the way they tease out a universal human experience. Funny jokes about digestion call out something that everyone does — but tries to hide. And while fart jokes and puns may make for some corny cringe-worthy comedy moments, they represent a great tradition. From the Whoopi cushions of yore to the fart apps beloved by today’s youth, fart jokes are a timeless source of good (semi) clean fun.

Whether you find dad jokes completely immature or endlessly hilarious, having a few fart jokes and puns in your repertoire is guaranteed to crack your kid up. Great fart jokes can be just as unexpected and hilarious as passing gas itself. And these 50 fart jokes for kids don’t stink.

  1. Why did the woman stop telling fart jokes?
    Everyone told her they stink.
  2. Happiness comes from within.
    That’s why it feels so good to fart.
  3. What is invisible and smells like carrots?
    A rabbit fart.
  4. What do you get when the Queen of England farts?
    A noble gas.
  5. Love is like a fart.
    If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
  6. How do you make a regular bath into a bubble bath?
    Eat beans for dinner.
  7. If you farted while traveling at the speed of sound,
    Would you smell it before you heard it?
  8. Why couldn’t the skeleton fart in front of his friends?
    He didn’t have the guts.
  9. What do you call a dinosaur fart?
    A blast from the past.
  10. Why should you never fart on an elevator?
    It’s wrong on so many levels.
  11. Why did the man delivering fart awareness pamphlets get fired from his job?
    He let one rip.
  12. Why doesn’t Chuck Norris fart?
    Because nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
  13. What’s the definition of a surprise?
    A fart with a lump in it.
  14. Fart jokes are funny,
    But eye jokes are cornea.
  15. What happened to the blind skunk?
    He fell in love with a fart.
  16. Why are ninja farts so dangerous?
    They’re silent but deadly.
  17. What happened to the man who only ate Skittles?
    He farted rainbows.
  18. Did you just fart?
    Because you blew me away.
  19. They say farts are like children,
    You don’t mind your own but can’t stand other people’s.
  20. If pooping is a call of nature, what’s a fart?
    A missed call.
  21. What do you call it when someone eats refried beans and onions?
    Tear gas.
  22. Success is like a fart.
    It only bothers people when it’s not their own.
  23. How do you say “fart” in German?
    Farfrompoopin.
  24. Why should you never fart in church?
    Because you’ll just have to sit in your pew.
  25. What do you call it when someone has a ton of gas after eating?
    A fart attack.
  26. Why do horses like to fart when they buck?
    Because they can’t achieve full horse power without gas.
  27. What do you call it when you’re startled by a fart? 
    Fartled.
  28. You think you might have it rough? 
    Think about how many farts a couch has to endure in silence.
  29. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    The chicken next to her farted.
  30. What do you call a person who never farts in front of other people?
    A private tooter.
  31. What do you call a farting boxer?
    Gaseous Clay.
  32. What do you call a cow’s fart?
    Dairy air.
  33. What do you call a fart from a butt that’s fallen asleep?
    A snore.
  34. What do you call a farting snowman?
    A snowblower.
  35. What do you call it when you fart into a wallet?
    Gas money.
  36. What kind of farts are surfers afraid of?
    Shart attacks.
  37. What’s invisible and smells like worms?
    A bird’s fart.
  38. How much should a fart weigh?
    Zero — anything more, and you’ve got bigger problems.
  39. How can you tell when a moth farts?
    It flies in a straight line.
  40. What do you call a ghost fart?
    A spirit bomb.
  41. If I had a quarter for every time I farted in my life, I would have two.
    Which is not a lot, and I’m worried it’s only happened twice.
  42. Why can’t Bill Gates fart at home?
    Because they had no windows.
  43. What did the burp say to the other burp?
    Let’s be bad and come out the other side.
  44. An eye, a nose, an ear, and a butt want to form a band.
    And the nose says, “If the butt sings, I’ll quit.”
  45. Why did the butt band fail?
    Their music sounded like crap.
  46. Farts are like books.
    We all prefer them if we are alone.
  47. Farts are like math.
    Many of you hate them, but it’s necessary
  48. Why don’t farts go to school?
    They’ve all been expelled.
  49. What is a fart’s favorite cartoon?
    Rocket Power. 
  50. I don’t fart.
    I whisper in my underwear.

Editor’s note: All of these stinky fart jokes are in the public domain. However, we spotted a few of these on The OatmealJokes For UsGoodreadsGoogle BooksScary MommyRedditPonlyBeano, and Pinterest, which we can’t recommend strongly enough.