Real kid jokes are an art form. They’re playful and employ fun turns of phrase that don’t shy away from silliness. In fact, good jokes for kids celebrate and revel in it. Which is what makes them appealing to adults too. A funny kid joke is like ’60s Batman with Adam West: it works for kids because it’s light-hearted and fun, and it works for adults because it’s just so irresistibly cheesy. And with that dated but totally funny reference, here are 57 hilarious knee-slappers that kids will love and adults won’t be able to help but groan at.
Why Birds Fly
Q: Why do birds fly to warmer climates in the winter?
A: It’s much easier than walking!
Smarter Than a Parrot
Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A: A spelling bee.
The Hospitalized Banana
Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: He was peeling really bad.
The Friendly Ocean
Q: How does the ocean say hello?
A: It waves.
The Fake Noodle
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An im-pasta
The Problem With Atoms
Q: Why can’t you trust atoms?
A: They make up everything.
Q: What did one plate whisper to the other plate?
A: Dinner is on me.
Why Dog’s Can’t Dance
Q: Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
A: They have two left feet?
Q: What do you call an old snowman?
The Imprisoned Picture
Q: Why was the picture sent to jail?
A: It was framed.
Q: How do you get a tissue to dance?
A: You put a boogie in it.
Q: Which superhero hits the most home runs?
It Has Wheels and Flies
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck.
The Problem with Baseball Stadiums
Q: Why is a baseball stadium always cold?
A: Because it’s full of fans!
Strongest Days of the Week
Q: What are the strongest days of the week?
A: Saturday and Sunday. All the others are weekdays.
The Astronaut’s Baby
Q: How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
A: You rocket!
Q: What do you call a rich elf?
Q: How do you talk to giants?
A: Use big words!
Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick
Q: What washes up on really small beaches?
Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles.
Q: What do you call cheese that’s not your cheese?
A: Nacho cheese.
Q: How do you make an artichoke?
A: You strangle it.
The Bashful Tomato
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
The Cool ‘Shrooms
Q: Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?
A: Because they’re such fungis!
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
A: To make up for his miserable summer.
The Scared Skeleton
Q: Why was the skeleton afraid of the storm?
A: He didn’t have any guts.
Q: Which hand is better to write with?
A: Neither, it’s better to write with a pen.
The Sad Math Book
Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
A: Because of all its problems.
The Holy Water
Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.
Q: Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?
A: No, you should just stick with turkey.
After School Elves
Q: What do elves do after school?
A: Their gnome work.
Another Name for Seagull
Q: What do you call a seagull when it flies over a bay?
A: A Bagel.
Q: How many lips does a flower have?
How to Stop a Bull
Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
A: Cancel its credit card.
The Pile of Cats
Q: What do you call a pile of cats?
A: A meow-tain.
Q: Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
A: Because he is always lion.
Pregnant Bed Bug
Q: Have you heard of the pregnant bed bug?
A: She’s going to have her baby in the spring.
Q: Why was the burglar so sensitive?
A: He takes things personally.
The Population of Ireland
Q: Did you hear about the population of Ireland?
A: It’s Dublin.
The Bike Fall
Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?
A: It was two tired.
Q: What kind of music do mummies listen to?
A: Wrap music.
No Eye Fish
Q: What do you call a fish with no eye?
The Cool Shark
Q: What do sharks say when something cool happens?
The Butcher Accident
Q: What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?
A: He got a little behind in his work.
The Wet Sand
Q: Why was the sand wet?
A: Because the sea weed.
The Rubber Toe
Q: What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: jalapeno business!
Q: Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife fall asleep?
A: Because of his coffin!
The Driving Dino
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car?
A: Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
The Shy Farts
Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A: A private tutor.
The Virtues of Switzerland
Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A: Because every play has a cast.
Q: Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
A: He was just going through a stage.
The Bottom of the Sea
Q: What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.
The Magic Dog
Q: What do you call a magic dog?
A: A Labracadabrador.
Like a Parrot
Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot.
A: A carrot.
Q: What do ghosts like to drink the most?
Q: What can you catch from a vampire in winter-time?
Q: What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?
A: Tooth: hurty!