Children love animals more than they love most things. From puppies in the park to cats that live at home, to the bunny rabbits that dominate the most beloved storybooks, some of the first words children learn have to do with all sorts of animals. Which is why the first jokes your kids should learn should also be about animals. Like all great corny jokes for kids, the best animal joke probably involves some kind of wordplay that relies heavily upon a pun. And the best animal jokes for kids double down on that pun with our sound-effect based jokes, until madness sets in. How many times can you use “quack” to make a joke about a duck? A lot.
Here are 28 fantastically corny animal jokes for kids, which carry no guarantees for laughter, because kids love talking about animals so much it hardly matters.
1. What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth!
2. Why do fish live in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
3. Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
4. Where did the sheep go on vacation?
5. What do you call a thieving alligator?
6. How do you say bye-bye to a curly-haired dog?
7. What’s black and white and blue?
A depressed zebra.
8. What did the judge say when the skunk came into his courtroom?
“Odor in the court!”
9. What kind of jungle cat is no fun to play games with?
10. What day do chickens fear the most?
11. How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away their credit cards.
12. Why did the elephant stay in the airport?
They were waiting for their trunk.
13. What did the horse say when it fell?
I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
14. What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class?
Why the long face?
15. What do you call a horse that lives next door?
16. What time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
17. Who stole the soap out of the bathtub?
The robber ducky!
18. What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
19. Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
He was trying to make both ends meet!
20. What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog!
21. Why don’t dogs make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
22. What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
I don’t know, but you can step in a poodle.
23. Why are dogs like phones?
Because they have collar IDs.
24. What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?
25. What has fangs and webbed feet?
26. What was the goal of the detective duck?
To quack the case, of course.
27. Why are cats so good at video games?
Because they have nine lives.
28. Why can’t a leopard hide?
Because he’s always spotted.
Editor’s note: All of these corny kid’s joke are in the public domain. However, we did a spot a few of these on Funology.com and in The Little Golden Book of Jokes and Riddles, which honestly, I can’t recommend strongly enough.