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24 Best Fart Jokes for Kids

Unlike a fart, these jokes don't stink.

Julia Barnes for Fatherly

Every child is different, but there are certain things that seem to unite kids everywhere: doing everything in their power to stay up past their bedtimethrowing tantrums at the least opportune moment, and undying love for fart jokes. Why are fart jokes so funny? They tease out a universal human experience, calling out something that everyone does — and tries to hide. They may make for some cringe-worthy moments, but they represent a great comedy tradition. From the whoopie cushions of yore to the fart apps known to today’s youth, fart jokes are a timeless source of good (semi) clean fun.

Whether you find fart-based humor completely immature or endlessly hilarious, you’re going to want to have a few fart jokes in your repertoire that are guaranteed to crack your kid up almost as hard as actually passing gas. With that in mind, we rounded up 21 of the best fart jokes we could find, and unlike farts themselves, none of them stink. Enjoy.

Why are ninja farts so dangerous?
They’re silent but deadly.

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What do you call a person who never farts in front of other people?
A private tooter.

What do you call it when someone eats refried beans and onions?
Tear gas.

Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it’s not their own.

How do you say “fart” in German?
“Farfrompoopin.”

What happened to the man who only ate Skittles?
He farted rainbows.

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.

Why did the woman stop telling fart jokes?
Everyone told her they stink.

What is invisible and smells like carrots?
A rabbit fart.

What do you get when the Queen of England farts?
A noble gas.

If you farted while traveling at the speed of sound would you smell it before you heard it?

Why couldn’t the skeleton fart in front of his friends?
He didn’t have the guts.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to her farted.

Why doesn’t Chuck Norris fart?
Because nothing escapes Chuck Norris.

What’s the definition of a surprise?
A fart with a lump in it.

Why should you never fart in church?
Because you have to sit in your pew.

What do you call it when someone has a ton of gas after eating?
A fart attack.

Why do farts smell?
So people who are hearing impaired don’t feel left out.

Why should you never fart on an elevator?
It’s wrong on so many levels.

Fart jokes are funny but eye jokes are cornea.

What happened to the blind skunk?
He fell in love with a fart.

Did you just fart?

Because you blew me away

They say farts are like children

You don’t mind your own but can’t stand other people’s

Why did the man get fired from his job delivering fart awareness pamphlets?

He let one rip