There’s an old joke that goes something like “If you tell your partner they need to get better at sex, they’ll go practice with someone else.” Har-Har. But practice, of course, makes sex better because you gain a better understanding of your likes, dislikes, and toe-curling secrets. A great way to understand one another better — and infuse a bit more fun into your sex life — is by incorporating some sex games. Why? The reasoning is simple: The best sex games are fun and, well, more fun is what more relationships usually need. Besides, fun sex games can provide new and exciting segues into actual sex, which is also fun. So, here are a few sex games, as recommended by sex and relationship experts, to play when the kids are gone — or when you just feel like trying something new.
Start & Stop
“Nothing is more tantalizing than having something feel amazing and then taking it away,” says Rachel Wright, a licensed marriage and family therapist and co-founder of the Wright Wellness Center. Set a timer on your phone for no more than five minutes before fooling around with your partner. Once the timer goes off, stop what you’re doing. Reset the timer and switch activities.
Adult Truth or Dare
You’re a human, so you know about Truth or Dare. The goal here is to think up a list of questions that might be helpful to better understand your partner, both in and out of the bedroom. Think up a list of dares that fall just outside your normal bedroom routine. “The options are limitless with this classic game,” says Wright. “Step outside of the day-to-day.”
The Naked Staring Contest
Staring contests are fun. Naked staring contests are more fun. Get undressed and sit directly across from your partner. “Think of a penalty for whoever blinks first,” says Daniel Sher, the sex educator over at Naughty North, a Canadian-based sex shop. Maybe that means performing an erotic massage. Maybe it means something more explicit. Get creative, she says, and have fun.
They say you shouldn’t bring technology into the bedroom, but they never said anything about using it before the bedroom antics begin. Ask your partner to send over some naughty messages throughout the day. Maybe ask them to slip a photo into the mix. Have them center the content on the things you like most in the bedroom. By the time you get home, you’ll be ready to go. But make sure your partner knows to hold out for a bit. “Men need to be teased,” says Te-Erika Patterson, a relationship coach and author of She Wants: A Loving Female-Led Relationship. “The reward, whenever it may come, will be one amazing, mind-blowing night of passion,” she says.
Have your partner create a list of tasks for you to perform. Once you’ve completed everything on the list, it’s your turn to have some fun. Write down a list of sexual stunts you’ve fantasized about, but have not yet engaged in. Throw them into a hat and have your partner pick one out. Then be prepared to entertain whatever it is they’ve selected. “This is a night dedicated to your kinks and satisfaction,” says Patterson. “Think of it as a reward for your good behavior.”
To engage in this sex game, take an ice cube and gently press it against various areas of your partner’s body. Start with some more minor erogenous zone. The nipples are always a great place to start. From there, you can work your way down to the more major parts. “Ice has unique sensations on and in different parts of the body. It’s also something you can hold in your hands, hold in your mouth, or rest somewhere on your body,” says Wright. “Take turns exploring when and where it feels the best in which combinations.” Though, she warns, try to go slow around the genitals. You don’t want to freeze the heat out of the moment.
“Sensory exploration is a fantastic way to build intimacy while exploring new and exciting ways to connect and give and receive pleasure,” says Anne Hodder, a certified sex educator. Blindfolds, she explains, are one of the easiest ways to engage in this form of sex game. “Many of us depend on sight not only to connect, but also to anticipate what’s about to happen. But strap on a blindfold and we no longer can guess what our partner is about to do and, instead, we must lie back and simply receive.” Consent, of course, is important to figure out before you start in. Talk to your partner about their limits. Maybe agree on a safe word, or sign. Pleasure, of course, is the goal. “When we take away a sense that many of us depend on, it forces the rest of our senses to up their game and heighten in ways they wouldn’t ordinarily,” she explains. “That can be especially titillating in the bedroom.”
Accessories are our friends. Stop by a sex shop with your partner. Pick out some stuff that you can use to really set the scene back at home. Bethany Ricciardi, resident sex expert at Too Timid recommends starting with some light restraints. “Being tied up can bring serious arousal,” she says. If you want to up the scene, bring a vibrator into the mix. “Combining the two can really change the entire perspective of sex. You’re putting one person in total control of the other.” If that’s not playful enough for you, try entertaining some role-play. Dress up. Dress down. Do whatever you need to make your fantasies come to life. If you think more instruction can help the execution, try bringing a board game into the bedroom. No, not Pie Face. An adult game.