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Why It Sucks To Be A March Baby, According To Science

Kids born in March grow up to be depressed, artistic pilots with irregular heartbeats. Oh well.

March babies are doomed to become depressed, artistic airline pilots with poor heart health. These are the disappointing findings of Fatherly‘s monthly (somewhat scientific) literature review of how birth month affects long-term outcomes. We’ll be the first to admit it—March is a disappointment. We found numerous advantages of being born in December, January, and February. But hey, at least kids born in March can expect to make it big in the arts—or in the cockpit. Here’s the data on March babies:

March Babies May Get Depressed More Easily 

Individuals born in March are at higher risk of depression, studies suggest. Scientists aren’t sure why, but some suspect this could be due to limited vitamin D exposure in the womb during winter months. And it’s worth keeping in mind that there’s also conflicting evidence out there, suggesting that people with March birthdays may be more optimistic and less likely to become depressed. Still, everyone seems to agree that kids born in May are at greatest risk for depression, so if you’re a March baby at least consider surrounding yourself with May babies—so you seem happier by comparison.

And They’re Prone to Pilotry 

Airline pilot is the most common career path for those born in March, according to data from the UK Office for National Statistics. (And, curiously, Harvard research suggests that depression runs rampant among airline pilots—leading us to a bit of a chicken or egg question). Although it’s unlikely that birth month directly correlates to occupation, the researchers maintain that birth month influences many other intangibles that could direct March babies toward the cockpit.

You’re More Creative Than Others

Perhaps March babies are depressed because they’d rather be painting than flying the friendly skies. One study of 300 celebrities in the fields of politics, science, public service, literature, the arts, and sports, found that the most creative individuals were born between the months of December and March. Again, experts believe this has more to do with the seasons fetuses endure in the womb than astrology, but these creatives will definitely read the findings into their horoscopes anyway.

They Probably Better Leaders

People born in March are twice as likely to become CEOs compared to their future subordinates with June or July birthdays, according to an analysis of 375 CEOs’ birthdates. Researchers suspect this has something to do with school enrollment cutoffs, which mean those born in the spring are more mature than those born in the summer. But that theory only goes so far, because September babies should have the edge when it comes to being the oldest kids in class—yet March babies still end up in charge.

But All That Alpha-ing And Airplane Flying Is Bad For The Hearts

Those with March birthdays are at highest risk for atrial fibrillation, congestive heart failure, and mitral valve disorder, according to one study. And other research has confirmed that people born between March and June have higher heart disease rates and shorter lifespans, on average. Having some awareness of this can hopefully encourage March babies to make heart-healthy lifestyle choices.

Or at least to take it easy at 30,000 feet.