60 Jokes For Teens That Will (Briefly) Stop The Eye Rolls
They're not such a tough audience if you have the right jokes.
If getting a laugh out of a teenager was as easy as eliciting an eye-roll, we wouldn’t need articles like this. But here we are. Throw a barrage of relentlessly corny jokes at your teen, and you can expect to watch your punchlines ricochet weakly off the affectless force field of adolescence. Try to skew too cool with your dad jokes, and the special power of the dad joke will crumble at your feet. Yes, making the crowd laugh takes the highest dad joke skill and the perfect matrix of corny and cool.
What sets these jokes for teens apart? They’re more mature than your average knock-knock joke but still fall within the scope of family-friendly humor. Good jokes for teens make your teen laugh by acknowledging their maturity and intelligence — without getting dirty. Because clean jokes can be hilarious too if done correctly. Pull these legitimately funny jokes for teens out during dinner while competing for attention with their phone or during carpool. Having a few of these age-appropriate jokes up your sleeve will earn you a few laughs, if not status as a cool dad. The only hard part is not using them all at once.
Did you hear about the guy writing a construction book?
A. He’s still working on it.
Did you get your hair cut?
A. No, I got them all cut.
Can you put the cat out?
A. Why, is it on fire?
Why are eggs bad at telling jokes?
A. They always crack each other up.
What do you call a 12-inch nose?
A. A foot.
Why did the man fall down the well?
A. Because he couldn’t see that well.
What animal is the worst at hiding?
A. The leopard — he’s always spotted.
Where do cats go swimming?
A. The kitty pool.
Why are spiders such know-it-alls?
A. They’re always on the web.
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A. A little hoarse.
How does the moon cut its hair?
A. E-clips it.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
A. Big hands.
Where do fruits go on vacation?
A. Pearis.
What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
A. Ouch!
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?
A. An envelope
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A. It’s OK. He woke up.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
Why can’t you trust an atom?
A. Because they make up everything.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. A pork chop.
What did the grape say when he was pinched?
A. Nothing, he just gave a little wine.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A. “Put it on my bill.”
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A. A stick.
Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
A. Because they can’t even.
Why did the selfie go to prison?
A. It was framed.
How do you make a tissue dance?
A. Put a little boogie in it.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
What do you call an old snowman?
A. A creek.
What is red, orange, and full of disappointment?
A. High school pizza.
What do computers eat for a snack?
A. Microchips!
Why were the Math books sad?
A. It had too many problems.
What does a school and plant have in common?
A. STEM.
What did the middle schooler say to the high schooler?
A. Nothing, they texted.
What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple?
A. They’re both red except for the green one.
Why did Adele cross the road?
A. To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do you drown a hipster?
A. In the mainstream.
What did the Baby corn say to the Mama corn?
A. Where is popcorn?
What did one DNA strand say to the other?
A. Does my bum look good in these genes?
How do Minecraft players celebrate?
A. They throw block parties.
What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
A. It gets toad away.
Why do rappers need umbrellas?
A. Fo’ drizzle.
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
A. I don’t know, and I don’t care.
What gets sharper the more you use it, but dull if you don’t use it at all?
A. Students.
Why did the period tell the comma to stop?
A. It was the end of the sentence.
How did the bullet lose its job?
A. It got fired.
Where do cows go on Friday nights?
A. The moo-vies!
Knock, knock. / Q. Who’s there? / A. To. / Q. To who? / A. It’s to whom.
What is a cow without a map?
A. Udderly lost.
I was looking for the lightning when it struck me.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.
What do you call Jay-Z’s former girlfriend?
A. Feyoncé.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
A. He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What do you call The Weeknd from Friday to Monday?
A. The Long Weeknd.
What do you call a Minecraft meetup IRL?
A. A block party.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands?
A. Because they’re extinct.
What do you call a 60-year-old who hasn’t reached puberty?
A. A late boomer.
What do pre-teen ducks hate?
My high school bully still takes my lunch money. But on the upside, he makes great fries.
Where do fish keep their money?
A. In the river bank.
What do you call hiking U.S. college students?
A. The walking debt.
Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?
A. They keep breaking out.
What do pre-teen ducks hate?
A. When their voice quacks.
Editor’s note: All of these jokes are in the public domain. However, we spotted a few of these on Thought Catalog, Wicked Uncle, Teens.LoveToKnow, Good Housekeeping, and Mum Lyfe, which we can’t recommend strongly enough.
Jokes For Preteens
A little gentler than the full teen lineup, these jokes are perfect for the 10-to-12 crowd who still love a good pun.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Why did the picture go to jail?
A. Because it was framed.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A. A fsh.
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
A. Because they make up everything.
What did one wall say to the other?
A. I'll meet you at the corner.
Why did the kid eat his homework?
A. Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A. A carrot.
Jokes For 13-Year-Olds
Thirteen is a prime age for jokes that are just a little edgier — still clean, but leaning into sarcasm and eye-roll humor.
Why did the teenager bring a pencil to bed?
A. To draw the curtains.
What do you call a teenager who won't get off their phone?
A. Normal.
Why did the smartphone need glasses?
A. It lost its contacts.
What's a teenager's favorite kind of math?
A. Algebra — because it's full of unknowns, just like their future plans.
Why don't teenagers ever get lost?
A. Because their phone always tells them where to go.
What did the alarm clock say to the teenager?
A. You're going to get a reaction out of me eventually.
Why did the teen cross the road?
A. To get away from their parents asking where they were going.
Jokes For 7th Graders & Middle Schoolers
These middle school-friendly jokes lean into the subjects, cafeteria food, and social drama that define 7th and 8th grade life.
Why did the student eat his homework?
A. The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
What's the best time to go to the dentist?
A. Tooth-hurty.
Why was the math book sad?
A. It had too many problems (yes, we know — this one's a classic, but it never misses).
What do you call a group of middle schoolers who all have the same locker combination?
A. A conspiracy.
Why did the cafeteria pizza join a band?
A. Because it had the right amount of cheese.
What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests.
Why don't middle schoolers trust stairs?
A. They're always up to something.
Riddles & Puns For Teens
If straight-up jokes aren't landing, riddles and puns are a solid backup plan — they reward the kind of overthinking most teens are already doing anyway.
I'm tall when I'm young and short when I'm old. What am I?
A. A candle.
What has to be broken before you can use it?
A. An egg.
What can travel around the world while staying in one spot?
A. A stamp.
What gets bigger the more you take away from it?
A. A hole.
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
A. Short.
I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. What am I?
A. An echo.
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