Sophia Benoit

Sophia Benoit is a columnist at Bustle who writes the sex and relationship advice series It’s A Pleasure. She also has written author profiles, product reviews, and fun pop culture pieces. In her advice column, she loves telling people to leave bad situations, to give themselves a break, and to accept that there are no easy answers. No matter what she’s writing, you can guarantee at least one bizarre metaphor and a ton of italics.

In 2021, Sophia wrote a book of essays called Well, This is Exhausting, where she overshared about her parents’ divorce, her childhood crushes, and her current exercise habits. Sophia has written about sex, dating, culture, and entertainment for GQ, The Guardian, The Cut, Men’s Health, Allure, Refinery29 and more. You can find other, less-well-edited writing of hers on her Substack newsletter Here’s The Thing or on twitter, @1followernodad. Sophia moved to Los Angeles to go to USC, where she studied communication and screenwriting; much to the chagrin of her family back in St. Louis, Sophia has lived in LA ever since.

Above all else, Sophia is a romance novel reader, a champagne enthusiast, a Fleetwood Mac obsessive, and an IBS sufferer. She loves knowing everyone’s gossip, visiting family in Italy, cooking way too much food for Bachelor viewing parties, and giving unsolicited advice to her seven siblings and innumerable best friends (and then following up with, “That’s what I would do, but you do you!”) If you ever want to get a tattoo on a whim, sit on a sunny patio, or go to a ‘70s dance night, Sophia is your girl. You can keep up with all the professional stuff at

I Can't Hearrrrr Youuu

My Wife Likes To Talk Dirty. I’m Not Good At It. What Can I Do To Improve?

What’s a not-so-vocal-in-bed guy to do? Fatherly’s sex columnist offers some advice.