Some day, your child might ask you the hardest question you’ve ever been asked. It’s not about where babies come from. It’s not about growing up. It’s much harder than that. Ready? Here’s the question.
Do the Ewoks eat people?
Every parent has to figure out the way they’re going to answer this question, but the short real answer is a big YES. Ewoks do eat people. They tried to cook Han, Luke, and Chewbacca in Return of the Jedi, and, because they’re using Stormtrooper helmets as drums in the same film, it’s easy to assume they ate some of those felled troopers. This uneasy truth has lead to another line of terrifying reasoning. A meme is circulating which poses the horrific question of how the Ewoks have a human dress for Leia. The theory suggests that it can only mean that the Ewoks ate someone else who was the previous owner of the dress. GROSSSS.
Recently, writer Brad Metzler — known for his thriller novels AND excellent children’s history books — shared the meme with Mark Hamill to get his thoughts. Hamill replied, “I’m trying NOT to think about it.”
— Brad Meltzer (@bradmeltzer) April 24, 2021
But. Here’s the good news. First of all, women are not the only people who wear dresses in this or any other galaxy. Second, the Ewoks are really good at making things which proves out when you look at their cool gliders, catapults, and the clothes they rock themselves. Just by glancing at the dress, it seems like we’re meant to think that the Ewoks made it.
Finally, there is actually some on-screen evidence that this dress was bespoke for Leia and sewn (or woven) by the Ewoks to express gratitude for teaming up with Wicket. In the contemporary (but kind of overlooked) animated anthology series Forces of Destiny, there’s one short episode called “Ewok Escape,” in which the Ewoks gift Leia the dress. True, we don’t see the Ewoks making the dress, but it does come wrapped in a similar fabric to what the dress is made out of. This seems to support the idea that the Ewoks made the dress rather than the idea that they creepily took it off another person. You can actually watch the entire short, “Ewok Escape” right here. (Forces of Destiny is also on Disney+.)
Now, if this ever comes up with your kids, here’s your answer: Sure, it’s possible that the Ewoks stole that dress from one of their victims. But, after watching some Star Wars cartoons, what’s more likely is that the Ewoks made the dress for Leia because the Ewoks are nice. So there.
And, if you dive even deeper into Forces of Destiny, there’s another episode — “An Imperial Feast” — where Han, Leia, and Hera from Rebels actually talk the Ewoks OUT of eating stormtroopers. Really! (Watch it below!)
Forces of Destiny ran from 2017 to 2018. All episodes are here on Disney+. They’re all very kid-friendly.