When kids want to laugh, they don’t usually turn to their math books for jokes. But if you’re a math teacher or a parent in the throes of math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. These math jokes are proof (get it?) that math can be a great source of humor — and humor, it turns out, might even help with those math skills. A string of recent studies have shown that laughter helps us to learn new things by reducing anxiety and boosting motivation, participation, perception, memory, and attention. Even when math isn’t fun, math jokes can be. And because the success of funny math puns depends on your kids understanding the math concept behind the punchlines, even corny math jokes are also clever ways to check that your kid understands what they’re learning from their math teachers, whether it’s geometry, calculus, algebra, or prime numbers.
These math jokes and puns are split into beginner and intermediate levels, so you can find the right corny math joke for your audience. And if our calculations are correct, these funny math jokes are some of the smartest and easiest-to-remember examples of math humor out there. Whether you’re looking for statistics puns or calculus jokes, odds are we’ve got you covered.
Beginner Math Jokes
1. Why do plants hate math?
It gives them square roots.
2. Why was the student upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a mean thing to say!
3. Why was the math book depressed?
It had a lot of problems.
4. Why was the fraction worried about marrying the decimal?
Because she would have to convert.
5. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated?
Because it’s never right.
6. Why can’t you trust a math teacher holding graphing paper?
They must be plotting something.
7. Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
8. I’ll do algebra, and I’ll do trig. I’ll even do statistics.
But graphing is where I draw the line!
9. What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place?
A Roamin’ numeral.
10. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date?
The odd couple (but 7 is in her prime).
11. Did you hear the one about the statistician?
12. What do you call dudes who love math?
13. Why should you never talk to Pi?
Because he’ll go on and on and on forever.
14. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common?
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
15. Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
16. What’s the best way to flirt with a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
17. Dear Algebra, stop trying to find your x.
They’re never coming back — don’t ask y.
18. There are three kinds of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
19. How do you make time fly?
Throw a clock out the window!
20. How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
21. Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
22. Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
23. Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point.
24. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers?
She’d stop at nothing to avoid them.
25. Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
Student: You told me not to use tables.
26. After a sheepdog chased all the sheep into the pen, he told the farmer “All 40 accounted for.”
But I only have 36 sheep,” the farmer replied.
“I know,” said the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”
27. Why did the triangle make the basketball team over the square?
He always made three-pointers.
28. Why did the girl always wear glasses during math class?
They improve di-vision.
29. What do you get when you divide the circumference of Jack-o-Lantern by its diameter?
30. Why was the math book sad?
It had many problems.
31. What is the butterfly’s favorite subject in school?
32. What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
Intermediate Math Jokes
29. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was 3 feet deep, on average.
30. What do baby parabolas drink?
31. Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
32. What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
33. The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.
But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.
34. How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
34. Why should you never mention the number 2885?
Because it’s “two” gross.
36. Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
Its parents wouldn’t cosine.
37. An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trashcan from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.
Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc., extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed.
Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, “Ah, a solution exists!” and then goes back to bed.
38. There are three people applying for the same job at a bank: a mathematician, a statistician, and an accountant.
The interviewing committee asks the mathematician one question: What is 500 plus 500? The mathematician answers “1,000” without hesitation, and they send him along. Next, they call in the statistician and ask the same question. He thinks for a moment and answers “1,000… I’m 95 percent confident.” When the accountant comes in, he is asked the same question: “What is 500 + 500?” He bows and replies, “What would you like it to be?”
They hire the accountant.
39. What do you call a mathematician who spent all summer at the beach?
A tan gent.
40. Why was the obtuse angle so depressed?
It was never right.
41. Why was math class so long?
The teacher kept going off on a tangent.
42. What did the zero say to the eight?
43. Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3s and 5s?
Because they can’t even.
44. What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral
45. My girlfriend is the square root of -100
She’s a perfect 10 but purely imaginary
46. Why was algebra so easy for the Romans?
X was always 10!
47. I would tell you a joke about an infinite line…
But it doesn’t have an endpoint.
48. Have you heard the latest stats joke?
49. What do parallel lines and vegetarians have in common?
They never meat.
50. Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s easy as pi!
51. Pi was fighting with an imaginary number.
“Get real,” Pi said. “Be rational,” the Imaginary number said.
52. What did the spelling book say to the math book?
“I know I can count on you!”
53. Why did the two fours skip lunch?
They already eight!
54. There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator…
But only a fraction would understand.
55. How are a dollar and the moon similar?
They both have four quarters!
56. What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of tree?
57. Why was the obtuse triangle always upset?
Because it’s never right.
58. Why did the mathematician spill all of his food in the oven?
The directions said, “Put it in the oven at 180°”.
59. What did one math book say to the other?
Don’t bother me, I’ve got my own problems”.
60. Did you hear the one about the statistician?
1. If a hen and a half lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many eggs will half a dozen hens lay in half a dozen days?
Answer: 2 dozen.
2. Which weighs more 16 ounces of soda or a pound of solid gold?
Answer: None they both weigh the same.
3. If you buy a rooster for the purpose of laying eggs and you expect to get three eggs each day for breakfast, how many eggs will you have after three weeks?
Answer: None. Roosters don’t lay eggs.
4. A clerk at the butcher shop is six feet tall and wears size 10 shoes. What does he weigh?
Answer: Meat. He works at the butcher’s
5. A farmer has 19 sheep on his land. One day, a big storm hits, and all but seven-run away. How many sheep does the farmer have left?.
Answer: Seven. All but seven ran away.