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All the Best Math Jokes and Puns for Parents, Teachers and Kids

When it comes to math jokes, your kids can count on you.

Julia Barnes for Fatherly

When kids want to laugh, they don’t generally turn to their math homework for jokes. But if you’re a math teacher or a parent in the throes of math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. These math jokes and puns are proof (get it?) that math can be a great source of humor — and humor, it turns out, might even help with those math skills. A string of recent studies have shown that laughter helps us to learn new things by reducing anxiety and boosting motivation, participation, perception, memory, and attention. Even when math isn’t fun, math jokes can be. And because the success of funny math puns depends on your kids understanding the math concept behind the punchlines, even corny math jokes are also clever ways to check that your kid understands what they’re learning from their math teachers, whether it’s geometry, calculus, algebra, or prime numbers. 

These math jokes and puns are split into beginner and advanced levels, so you can find the right corny math joke for your audience. And if our calculations are correct, these funny math jokes are some of the smartest and easiest-to-remember examples of math humor out there. Whether you’re looking for statistics puns or calculus jokes, odds are we’ve got you covered.

Beginner and Intermediate Math Jokes

  1. Are monsters good at math?
    Not unless you Count Dracula.
  2. What is the butterfly’s favorite subject in school?
    Mothematics.
  3. How do you make time fly?
    Throw a clock out the window!
  4. Why is six afraid of seven?
    Because seven eight nine!
  5. Why did seven eat nine?
    Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
  6. Why was the math book sad?
    It had a lot of problems.
  7. What did the spelling book say to the math book?
    “I know I can count on you!”
  8. Why did the two fours skip lunch?
    They already eight!
  9. How are a dollar and the moon similar?
    They both have four quarters!
  10. Did you hear the one about the statistician?
    Probably.
  11. Why was the student upset when his teacher called him average?
    It was a mean thing to say!
  12. Why was the fraction worried about marrying the decimal?
    Because she would have to convert.
  13. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated?
    Because it’s never right.
  14. Why was the equal sign so humble?
    Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
  15. What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place?
    A Roamin’ numeral.
  16. What did one math book say to the other?
    “Don’t bother me, I’ve got my own problems.”
  17. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date?
    The odd couple (but 7 is in his prime).
  18. Why do plants hate math?
    It gives them square roots.
  19. What do you call dudes who love math?
    Algebros.
  20. Why should you never talk to Pi?
    Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.
  21. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common?
    It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
  22. Dear Algebra, stop trying to find your x. They’re never coming back — don’t ask y.
  23. There are three kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can’t.
  24. How do you stay warm in any room?
    Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
  25. Why does nobody talk to circles?
    Because there is no point.
  26. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers?
    She’d stop at nothing to avoid them.
  27. Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
    Student: You told me not to use tables.
  28. After a sheepdog chased all the sheep into the pen, he told the farmer “All 40 accounted for.”
    “But I only have 36 sheep,” the farmer replied.
    “I know,” said the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”
  29. Why did the triangle make the basketball team over the square?
    He always made three-pointers.
  30. Why did the kid always wear glasses during math class?
    They improve di-vision.
  31. What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
    Pumpkin Pi!
  32. Why can’t you trust a math teacher holding graphing paper?
    They must be plotting something.
  33. What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
    Summer.
  34. Which weighs more 16 ounces of soda or a pound of solid gold?
    Answer: They both weigh the same.
  35. A clerk at the butcher shop is 6 feet tall and wears size 10 shoes. What does he weigh?
    Meat. He works at the butcher’s shop.

Advanced Math Jokes

  1. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
    It was 3 feet deep — on average.
  2. I’ll do algebra, and I’ll do trig. I’ll even do statistics.
    But graphing is where I draw the line!
  3. What’s the best way to flirt with a mathematician?
    Use acute angle.
  4. What do baby parabolas drink?
    Quadratic formula.
  5. Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
    To get to the same side.
  6. What’s the best way to serve pi?
    A la mode. Anything else is mean.
  7. The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic. But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.
  8. How do you get from point A to point B?
    Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
  9. Why should you never mention the number 2885?
    Because it’s “two” gross.
  10. Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
    Its parents wouldn’t cosine.
  11. An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc., extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed. Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, “Ah, a solution exists!” and then goes back to bed.
  12. There are three people applying for the same job at a bank: a mathematician, a statistician, and an accountant. The interviewing committee asks the mathematician one question: “What is 500 plus 500?” The mathematician answers “1,000” without hesitation, and they send him along. Next, they call in the statistician and ask the same question. He thinks for a moment and answers “1,000… I’m 95 percent confident.” When the accountant comes in, he is asked the same question: “What is 500 + 500?” He bows and replies, “What would you like it to be?” They hire the accountant.
  13. What do you call a mathematician who spent all summer at the beach?
    A tan gent.
  14. Why was math class so long?
    The teacher kept going off on a tangent.
  15. What did the zero say to the eight?
    Nice belt!
  16. Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3s and 5s?
    Because they can’t even.
  17. What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
    A roamin’ numeral
  18. Why was algebra so easy for the Romans?
    X was always 10!
  19. I would tell you a joke about an infinite line… But it doesn’t have an endpoint.
  20. Have you heard the latest stats joke?
    Probably…
  21. What do parallel lines and vegetarians have in common?
    They never meat.
  22. Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
    It’s easy as pi!
  23. Pi was fighting with an imaginary number: “Get real,” pi said. “Be rational,” the imaginary number said.
  24. There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator… But only a fraction would understand.
  25. What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of tree?
    Geometry.
  26. Why did the mathematician spill all of his food in the oven?
    The directions said, “Put it in the oven at 180°.”