The Funniest Dad Tweets From This Week

As a dad, there’s nothing better than hearing other people articulate some truth from the wild world of parenting. It helps remind us that fatherhood is a shared pursuit and, well, that crazy stuff happens to every parent. There’s no better display of this than on Twitter, where parents regularly share the funny, silly, frustrating, and truthful events that happen in their lives. To that end, here are ten of the best dad tweets from this week.

You Shredder Believe It

5-year-old: Do I have to change my name if I get married?

Me: Only if you want to.

5: Call me Shredder.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 20, 2018

Too Blessed To Be Messed

Have kids so instead of being productive you can clean up mess, after mess, after mess, until you die.

— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) March 22, 2018

1. How comfortable and prepared do you feeling speaking to your children about race and systemic racism?

   That's not a conversation I plan to have.

   I feel prepared. I will teach them that everyone is equal.

   I feel unprepared and uncomfortable, but plan to have the conversation.

   I feel prepared. I will teach them that inequality is a core American experience.

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Sorry Not Sorry

TODDLER:
*inadvertently bumps into couch* oh sorry couch
*inadvertently bumps into door* oh sorry door
*inadvertently bumps into trashcan* oh sorry trash
*inadvertently drop kicks me in the groin* LOL

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 20, 2018

It’s Gotta Be The Shoes

Never, ever give up on your child! (Unless you are waiting for them to tie their shoes. Go ahead and give up.)

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 18, 2018

Dino-Mite!

It's always a big day when you're going to somewhere with the word "dinosaur" in its name.

— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 18, 2018

People Helping People

Some think kids are selfish, but when 8 sees I’m carrying too much stuff at once, he comes over and gives me a lengthy explanation as to why Black Panther could beat Spider-Man.

— TheAlexNevilExperience (@TheAlexNevil) March 21, 2018

Throw In The Towel

Don’t know what’s worse
1) My 8yo called me upstairs to bring him a towel that was two feet away from him
2) I did it

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) March 22, 2018

Let It Snow!

My 7yo’s so excited there might be a snow day that he went to bed early.

I’m so excited he went to bed early that I didn’t tell him school’s already canceled.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 20, 2018

Back In My Day

https://twitter.com/TheMichaelRock/status/976421751239389184

A Night At The Theather

I’m stuck saving 5 seats for a first grade play and you know what? I’m not enjoying this at all.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 22, 2018

Parenting during a pandemic is hard.
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