As a dad, there’s nothing better than hearing other people articulate some truth from the wild world of parenting. It helps remind us that fatherhood is a shared pursuit and, well, that crazy stuff happens to every parent. There’s no better display of this than on Twitter, where parents regularly share the funny, silly, frustrating, and truthful events that happen in their lives. To that end, here are ten of the best dad tweets from this week.
Fake It Til You Make It
Most of being a good parent is just trying to be an average parent despite being incredibly tired.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 5, 2018
School Sucks
Me: Did you have fun at school?
5-year-old: Part of it.
Me: Which part?
5: The part when I came home.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 8, 2018
In Jeopardy
Alex Trebek: Juice box straw wrappers and empty cereal boxes.
DING DING DING
Me: What are things my kids never throw away?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 7, 2018
The Name Game
My wife just brought home a book of baby names. Or — as I call it — a book of names.
—
A Healthy Balance
80% of my time walking places with my kids is spent waiting for them to balance on things.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 5, 2018
Spaghetti-O No You Didn’t
Tonight’s child tantrum brought to you by SpaghettiOs that didn’t have meatballs in them.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) March 6, 2018
Quicker Oats
"Hurry up. Snort the oatmeal if you have to."
— Me, parenting.
— The Woodland Creature Whisperer. (@snotnboogers23) March 7, 2018
Money Moves
Me: Money makes the world go round, kid.
8: Actually, the Earth’s rotation is a bi-product of the inertial momentum left from the swirling clouds of matter that formed our solar system.
Me: No, seriously, it’s money.
— fundy (@funderlaw) March 8, 2018
Complaint Department
Things my 8yos have complained about this morning:
1) They had to make their own breakfast
2) They have to continue to learn how to read
3) They can't quit school and join a hip hop group— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) March 7, 2018
Phone It In
4: How does your phone work?
Me: It’s complicated.
4: Does complicated mean you’re dumb?
Me: Kind of.— Distracted Dad (@Distracted_Dad) March 7, 2018
