60 Funny Turkey Jokes and Thanksgiving Puns For Kids

These knee-slappers will keep kids laughing all day.

Originally Published: 

Thanksgiving might yield plenty of leftovers, but Thanksgiving turkey jokes for kids are guaranteed to have them coming back for seconds. Whether you’re with your own children or adding a host of nephews, nieces, or kids of friends, there are plenty of entertaining Thanksgiving puns and turkey jokes for kids. So load up your plate with our favorite silly jokes and funny one-liners that will have them cackling well through Black Friday.

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Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes for Kids

  1. Why did the turkey cross the road?

The chicken had Thanksgiving off.

  1. Why didn’t the turkey eat any food?

Because he was already stuffed.

  1. Did you hear about the turkey who lost a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

  1. Why couldn’t dad stop moistening the turkey with juices?

It appealed to his baster instincts.

  1. What type of glass does a turkey drink from?

A gobblet.

  1. Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course! Buildings can’t jump.

  1. Why do turkeys only star in R-rated movies?

Because they use fowl language!

  1. How did the turkey get home for Thanksgiving?

She took the gravy train.

  1. What did the turkey say to the computer?

“Google, google, google!”

  1. What happened when the turkey played football?

It got ejected for fowl play!

  1. What side of the turkey has the most feathers?

The outside!

  1. What do you get when you cross Halloween with Thanksgiving?

A poultry-geist.

  1. Why did the turkey cross and then recross the road?

To prove he wasn’t chicken.

  1. What’s the official dance of Thanksgiving?

The turkey trot.

  1. What sound does a turkey’s phone make?

Wing, wing, wing.

  1. What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?


  1. What’s the difference between a turkey and a chicken?

Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.

  1. What do turkeys wish for approaching Thanksgiving?


  1. What do turkeys give thanks for on Thanksgiving?


  1. If pears grow on pear trees and apples, on apple trees, where do turkeys grow?


  1. What do you call a turkey running at full speed?

Fast food.

Thanksgiving Food Jokes

  1. What do you call a sad cranberry?

A blueberry.

  1. What Thanksgiving side dish could be given out at Halloween?

Candied yams!

  1. Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving band perform?

Somebody ate the drumsticks.

  1. What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?

Your nose!

  1. What’s a Turkey’s Favorite Dessert?

Apple gobbler!

  1. What did the family serve after grandma sat on the turkey?


  1. Why did the sweet potatoes get so embarrassed?

They saw the turkey dressing!

  1. What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?

Your teeth!

  1. What side dish tells the worst jokes?

Corn(y) bread!

  1. Can you season the turkey for me?

There’s not thyme!

  1. When is turkey soup bad for your health?

When you’re the turkey.

  1. What do salt and pepper say at the table?

“Seasonings’ greetings!”

  1. What role do green beans have during Thanksgiving dinner?

The casse-role.

  1. What’s the best music to play while preparing Thanksgiving dinner?

“All About That Baste”

  1. When do you serve rubber turkey?


  1. What do you get when you cross turkey with dessert?

Peach gobbler.

Thanksgiving Pilgrim Jokes

  1. If April showers bring may flowers, what do may flowers bring?


  1. What’s a pilgrim’s favorite type of music?

Plymouth Rock!

  1. What do you call a pilgrim’s birthday?


  1. What do pilgrims bake with?


  1. Where did the pilgrims first stand?

On their feet.

  1. What kind of cars to pilgrims drive?


  1. What do you call a pilgrim back from a beach vacation?


  1. How do you weigh a pilgrim?

In pil-grams.

  1. Who does a Puritan see just before he dies?

The pil-grim reaper.

  1. Why did Pilgrims eat turkey at the first Thanksgiving?

They couldn’t fit a whale in the oven.

  1. What do pilgrims wear to dinner?


  1. If British colonists are called Pilgrims, what do you call colonists from Spain?

Spanish Acquisition.

  1. Did you hear about the pilgrims involved in a class-action lawsuit?

They reached a settlement.

  1. Did you hear about the Roanoke residents?

It was very unsettling.

  1. What’s the first ingredient in Pilgrim biscuits?


  1. If they were alive today, what would the Pilgrims be famous for?

Being 400 years old.

  1. What do you call an accident-prone Pilgrim?

A spill-grim.

  1. How do educated Pilgrims travel?

On scholar-ships.

  1. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?

“Quack, Quack!”

  1. What key has legs and can’t open a door?

A turkey.

  1. Why shouldn’t you sit next to a turkey at dinner?

Because he will gobble it up.

  1. What did the leftover turkey say?

“Make me a sandwich!”

  1. Why did the cranberries turn red?

Because they saw the turkey dressing.

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