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14 Very Silly Birthday Jokes That Will Get Your Kids Laughing

Honestly, they'll be laughing too hard to blow out the candles this year.

While some kids’ birthday party traditions are temporarily sidelined by the pandemic, other traditions can help take up the slack: family freeze tag, kid-song singalongs, and an abundance of dad humor, with its relentless optimism and awe-inspiring resilience. No matter how hard the dad joke falls, it gets right back up again, cornier and more confident than ever before. Since your audience will likely be smaller than usual this year — and made up entirely of people who’ve heard your jokes a few times — you could probably use some new material.

So before you embark on the next cringe-worthy stand-up session, plan ahead with these birthday (dad) jokes for kids. They run the gamut from silly knock-knocks jokes to ice-cold ice cream puns. But all these kids’ jokes have one thing in common: They’ll make your kids laugh, and laugh really hard. So channel Michael Epps at the dining room table. Aspire to be Kevin Hart in your living room. As long as there’s family, cake, crafts, and plenty of ill-timed jokes that make the entire room groan, it’s a birthday party your kid will love. 

14 Birthday Jokes for Kids

  1. What is it about birthdays that make kangaroos unhappy? They only get to celebrate them in leap years.
  2. What sort of birthday cake do ghosts prefer?  I Scream Cake.
  3. Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.” Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
  4. What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
  5. When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
  6. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey. 
  7. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Omar. Omar who? Omar gosh, it’s your birthday!
  8. What did the ice cream say to the grumpy birthday cake? What’s eating you?
  9. What goes up and never comes down? Your age!
  10. Why did the little girl get soap for her birthday? It was a soap-rise party!
  11. What did one candle say to the other? “Don’t birthdays burn you up?”
  12. What did the teddy bear say when it was offered some birthday cake? No thanks, I’m stuffed.
  13. What do you sing to a cow on their birthday? Happy birthday to moo!
  14. What did the crab do on his birthday? He shell-ebrated!
Fatherly IQ
  1. What do you want the president to prioritize in the next four years?
    Coronavirus
    Paid leave and child care
    Healthcare
    Climate change and the environment
    Jobs and the economy
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