Satanic Panic No More: Parents Back ‘Iron Maiden’ Principal

Parents were concerned the principal was trying to convert the school into 'Hell on Earth.'

Iron Maiden performs on stage

It is the spookiest time of the year, but while most of us enjoy the silly scares that come with Halloween, some people do not find the ‘Fear of the Dark’ fun at all. And a group of concerned parents who likely have too much time on their hands decided to try and get a principal removed from her job for having the audacity to… listen to Iron Maiden.

Sharon Burns of Eden High School inspired a petition due to having “satanic imagery” associated with the heavy metal band, including a photo that had a handwritten sign that read “Eddie 666” next to a figure of the Iron Maiden’s skeletal mascot. This was enough to convince several parents that Principal Burns was trying to make school ‘Hell on Earth,’ making their kids ‘Lost in a Lost World.’

“As concerned parents with impressionable children at Eden High School, we are deeply disturbed that the principal assigned to the school blatantly showed Satanic symbols and her allegiance to Satanic practices on her public social media platforms where all the students can see them,” the petition read.

This is, of course, dumb as hell (which we all know is Satan’s house) and thankfully, some more level-headed parents stepped in to defend Principal Burns by pointing out that Eden is a public school and noting that Burns “spreads nothing but love and kindness, and is probably one of the best and most enthusiastic principals the school has ever had.”

While the original fear-mongering petition managed to get about 500 signatures, the petition fighting for Burns was able to get 23,769 signatures (as of writing this, it has likely gone up since). Now I am no mathematician but according to the calculator on my phone, 23,769 is more than 500. In this case, the writing on the wall made it clear that Burns’ job was safe.

Fortunately, the satanic panic did not win the day, as the school board “spoke with Burns and the parents who published [the petition]” and came to the extremely obvious conclusion that “no disciplinary action or policy changes were needed.” So keep on rocking, Principal Burns.