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The Candy Corniest Halloween Jokes for Kids

Scare-up some laughs, dad joke style.

Halloween is speeding toward us faster than a witch on a turbo-boosted broomstick. You’ve got mere days to pick out your kids’ Halloween costume, get your own costume sorted, come up with a trick-or-treating plan, and memorize as many Halloween dad jokes as possible.

The best part of Halloween is the candy and the costumes, right? Wrong. The very best part of Halloween is telling terrifyingly corny and silly dad jokes about Halloween to your kids. Like all good dad jokes, we believe that the best Halloween jokes should verge on being intolerable for a thinking adult. If you’re not cringing inside while telling a spooky Halloween joke, you need to keep working at it.

But we’re to help, with a few dozen of the very best Halloween jokes for kids. These jokes are scary, for sure, but mostly because the corniness ahead is truly horrific. You’ve been warned!

Q. What did Frankenstein say when he woke up from a nap?

A. “I’ve just had a shocking dream.”

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Q. Why were Dracula’s pancakes so terrible?

A. He got turned into the bat-ter.

Q. What did the vampire say when she saw her reflection?

A. Time to get a new mirror!

Q. What does Bigfoot say when he ask for candy?

A. Trick-or-feet

Q. How many abominable snow monsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Only one, but you have to believe in it first.

Q. Why did the baby wrap itself in paper strips and move to Egypt?

A. It was just trying to be like its mummy.

Q.What can you catch from a vampire in wintertime?

A. Frost-bite!

Q. What do ghosts like do drink the most?

A. Ghoul-aid.

Q. Why did the werewolf go to the dressing room when she saw the full moon?

A. She needed to change.

Q. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

A. He didn’t have the guts.

Q: When does a ghost eat breakfast?

A. In the moaning.

Q. What kind of monster is the best dancer?

A. The boogieman

Q. What do skeletons order at restaurants?

A. Spare ribs!

Q: What kind of fruit to ghosts love? 

A. Boo-berries.

Q. Why did Ichabod Crane stop on the road?

A. The street sign said “Stop ahead.”

Q. What sounds do witches make when they eat cereal?

A. Snap, CACKLE, and pop.

Q. Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

A. No body

Q. What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?

A.Count Duckula

Q. What kind of story always begins with: “It was a dark and stormy night?”

A. A ghost’s bedtime story.