Women’s breasts are both a source of baby food and occasional awe, but men’s relationship with them is more complicated than keeping their eyes “up there.” In fact, how you perceive boobs could make the difference between you being poor, hungry, or dead, research suggests.
Like breasts, studies on how men relate to them come in all shapes and sizes. Some are more robust than others. But the following should at least give you something constructive to ogle.
Size Matters, but Not as Much as You Think
The rumor that men tend to prefer medium to large breasts is true — but less sexually restricted men seem to care far less about size, one study shows. Other research suggests that medium boobs are, in fact, the most popular among men (and women). So for breasts, bigger isn’t always better. In fact, studies suggest large breasts would be better off maintaining a C-average.
How Much Money You Make May Influence Your Boob Preference
If you like small boobs, don’t worry. You’re probably just rich, one paper suggests. The study, published in the The Journal of Socio-Economics, found that men with fewer financial resources gravitate toward larger breasts, while men who are more well-off financially tend toward smaller ones. On a biological level, perhaps wealthier men innately sense that they don’t need those extra fatty reserves — they can just grab a steak dinner and call it a night.
If You Don’t Want to Stare, Don’t View Boobs on an Empty Stomach
Don’t worry, it’s not because you’ll attempt to breastfeed. The aforementioned study also found that boob preferences are broadly related to available resources and that, when men are satiated, they’re less drawn to huge knockers. The study also found that men who prefer big breasts tend to be more sexist than others. Hungry and sexist? What a bad combination.
Staring at Boobs Might Help You Live Longer
There’s some evidence that staring at boobs may increase a man’s longevity. A 2012 study found that positive thinking had a positive effect on long-term health choices, particularly when it came to taking blood pressure medication. While not all experts are convinced, many have deduced that looking at boobs is one such way to achieve a positive mental attitude. Another German study concurred that looking at boobs for 10 minutes a day was good for a man’s cardiovascular health. All of these benefits, of course, only exist if the boob-gazing is permitted. Otherwise, staring at boobs on the sly can significantly shorten your life. If you catch our drift.
Being a Dad Changes How You Think About Boobs
Preferring larger breasts can indicate a lot of things, but it might just mean you’re ready to be a father, research suggests. The study found that men who did not have kids but wanted them were generally into larger boobs, and dudes who had no familial aspirations were content with smaller pairs. In this case, dads who like big boobs can breathe a sigh of relief. Your preference doesn’t mean you’re a creep, or sexist, or even hungry. You just want what’s best for your kids.