Hot Laughs

30+ Hilarious Summer Jokes That Are Sure To Make A Splash

Unlike oysters, we aren't shellfish with our puns

by Lilian Ogbuefi
Originally Published: 
Young girl 7 yrs old, in swimming pool, swimming towards camera
Henrik Sorensen/DigitalVision/Getty Images

The summer is just as good a time as any to ramp up your repertoire of groan-worthy dad jokes. It’s only right that the warm, sunny season be celebrated with an arsenal of funny summer jokes that are sure to bring on the laughs. Extra points if you, like many of us, have forgotten the art of small talk. The best kind of summer jokes are the kinds that are easy to remember and can be worked into a conversation. Seamlessly, like you just always talk this way.

But don’t try too hard! Unlike oysters, we’re not shellfish with our arsenal of puns; so we’ve compiled summer jokes around almost every phenomenon associated with the warmer weather. Feel free to start your next conversation with “Long time no sea”.

Ocean Jokes

1. How do we know that the ocean is friendly?

It waves!

2. Why do fish swim in saltwater?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

3. What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?

Long time, no sea.

4. Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?

Because they dropped out of school.

5. What did the carp say to his crush?

Don’t play koi with me!

6. What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?

Can you please be more Pacific?

7. What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?

It a-piers we have a problem.

8. What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing. It just waved.

9. What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond film?

Licence to Krill.

10. Where does seaweed look for a job?

In the kelp-wanted section.

11. Why did the fish blush?

Because it saw the ocean's bottom.

12. Why don’t fish play football?

Because they’re scared of nets.

13. What do mermaids sleep on?

Water beds.

14. Why do scuba divers fall backwards to enter the ocean?

If they fell forwards, they would just fall into the boat.

15. Why did the crab never share?

Because he’s shellfish.

16. What is the best tool in the ocean?

A hammerhead shark.

17. What do you call a lazy crayfish?

A slobster.

18. What fish costs the most?

A goldfish.

19. What do fish and maps have in common?

They both have scales.

20. What do you find in the middle of the ocean?

The letter “e.”

Vacation Jokes

1. What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation.

2. What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

3. What did the little corn say to the mama corn?

Where is pop corn?

4. What do you do if you get rejected at the sunscreen company?


5. How do you prevent a summer cold?

Catch it in winter.

6. What do snowmen do in summer?

Chill out.

7. What does the sun drink out of?


8. What did the reporter say to the ice cream?

What’s the scoop?

Animal Jokes

1. Where do goldfish go on vacation?

Around the globe.

2. Where do sheep go on vacation?

The Baa-hamas.

3. Why don’t oysters share their pearls?

Because they’re shellfish!

4. What do you call a Labrador at the beach in August?

A hot dog.

5. Where do sharks go on vacation?


6. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?

You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.

7. Why did the shark befriend the dolphin?

Because it wanted more porpoise in its life.

Jokes About Summer Camp

1. Why don’t mummies go to summer camp?

They’re afraid to relax and unwind.

2. Where do cows go for summer camp?

Moo York.

3. Where do canoes at summer camp go when they are sick?

To the dock.

4. At camp, when do you go at red and stop at green?

When you’re eating a watermelon.

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