Dad Jokes

105 Prime Math Jokes for Parents, Teachers, And Kids

When it comes to math jokes, your kids can count on you.

Originally Published: 
photo collage of a father and daughter laughing framed by a math equation on a blackboard and "HA!" ...
BDG; Getty

When kids want to laugh, they rarely turn to their math homework for jokes. But if you’re a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. These funny math jokes for kids are proof (get it?) that math can be a great source of humor — and humor, it turns out, might even help with those math skills. Recent studies have shown that laughter helps us to learn new things by reducing anxiety and boosting motivation, participation, perception, memory, and attention.

Even when math isn’t fun, math jokes can be. And because the success of funny math puns depends on understanding the concept behind the punchlines, even corny math jokes are also clever ways to check that your kid understands what they’re learning from their math teachers, whether it’s geometry, algebra, or prime numbers. And if they’re really advanced, you can integrate some calculus jokes into your repertoire.

These math jokes and puns are split into beginner and advanced levels, so you can find the right corny joke for your audience. And if our calculations are correct, these funny math jokes are some of the smartest and easiest-to-remember examples of math humor out there. Whether you’re looking for statistics puns or calculus jokes, odds are we’ve got you covered.

Beginner and Intermediate Math Jokes

  1. Why was the math book sad? It had a lot of problems.
  2. What did the spelling book say to the math book? “I know I can count on you!”
  3. Why did the two fours skip lunch? They already eight!
  4. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.
  5. What is the butterfly’s favorite subject in school? Mothematics.
  6. How do you make time fly? Throw a clock out the window!
  7. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
  8. How do you make seven even? Subtract the “S.”
  9. Why did seven eat nine? Because you’re supposed to eat three squared meals a day!
  10. What do you get when you multiply a New York City landmark by itself? Times Square.
  11. What do you call an adventurous number? A roamin’ numeral.
  12. How are a dollar and the moon similar? They both have four quarters!
  13. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.
  14. Why was the student upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!
  15. Why was the fraction worried about marrying the decimal? Because she would have to convert.
  16. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it’s never right.
  17. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
  18. What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place? A roamin’ numeral.
  19. What did one math book say to the other? “Don’t bother me. I’ve got my own problems.”
  20. What is a math teacher’s favorite snake? A pi-thon.
  21. What do you call the number seven and the number three when they go out on a date? The odd couple (but seven is in his prime).
  22. Why was the math teacher suspicious of prime numbers? They were all odd.
  23. Why can’t you trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? They must be plotting something.
  24. What is a math teacher’s favorite sum? Summer.
  25. Which weighs more, 16 ounces of soda or a pound of solid gold? They both weigh the same.
  26. Why did the student trust his abacus? She could always count on it.
  27. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.
  28. What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.
  29. Why should you never talk to Pi? Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.
  30. Why are parallel lines so tragic? They have so much in common, but they’ll never meet.
  31. Dear Algebra, stop trying to find your x. They’re never coming back — don’t ask y.
  32. There are three kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can’t.
  33. How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
  34. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.
  35. What do you call a tea kettle whistling on the top of a mountain? A high-pot-in-use.
  36. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? She’d stop at nothing to avoid them.
  37. Teacher: “Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?” Student: “You told me not to use tables.”
  38. After a sheepdog chased all the sheep into the pen, he told the farmer, “All 40 accounted for.” “But I only have 36 sheep,” the farmer replied. “I know,” said the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”
  39. Why did the triangle make the basketball team? It always made three-pointers.
  40. Why did the kid always wear glasses during math class? They improve di-vision.
  41. What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o’-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi!
  42. A clerk at the butcher shop is 6 feet tall and wears size 10 shoes. What does he weigh? Meat. He works at the butcher’s shop.
  43. Why can’t you trust a math teacher? They’re always calculating.
  44. Where did the geometry teacher go on vacation? Who knows? All I know is that she’s polygon.
  45. What did the math teacher say when his parrot escaped? “Polygon.”
  46. Why didn’t the quarter jump off a bridge with the dime? It had more cents.
  47. What geometric shape removes spells and curses? A hexagon.
  48. Have you ever noticed what’s odd? Every other whole number.
  49. What’s the best tool for math? Multipliers.
  50. What’s a swimmer’s favorite math? Dive-ision.
  51. What do a year and a dollar have in common? They both have four quarters.
  52. What’s in charge of geometry? The ruler.
  53. What’s the best way to get a math tutor? An add.
  54. What’s the most adventurous type of number? Roamin’ numerals.

Advanced Math Jokes

  1. Pi was fighting with an imaginary number: “Get real,” pi said. “Be rational,” the imaginary number said.
  2. What do you call an angle that’s gone through the garbage disposal? A wrecked-angle.
  3. A student turned in a blank sheet of paper for his math test, and the teacher asked him why. “It was on imaginary numbers,” he said. “Can’t you see them?”
  4. There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator… But only a fraction would understand.
  5. What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of tree? Geometry.
  6. How do you get from point A to point B? Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
  7. Why should you never mention the number 2,885? Because it’s “two” gross.
  8. Why couldn’t the angle get a loan? Its parents wouldn’t cosine.
  9. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river? It was 3 feet deep — on average.
  10. I’ll do algebra, and I’ll do trig. I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!
  11. What’s the best way to flirt with a mathematician? Use acute angle.
  12. What do baby parabolas drink? Quadratic formula.
  13. Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? To get to the same side.
  14. What’s the best way to serve pi? A la mode. Anything else is mean.
  15. What do you get when you divide the circumference of the sun by its diameter? Pi in the sky.
  16. The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic. But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.
  17. An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and, after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc., extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed. Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire, and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, “Ah, a solution exists!” and then goes back to bed.
  18. There are three people applying for the same job at a bank: a mathematician, a statistician, and an accountant. The interviewing committee asks the mathematician one question: “What is 500 plus 500?” The mathematician answers “1,000” without hesitation, and they send him along. Next, they call in the statistician and ask the same question. He thinks for a moment and answers, “1,000… I’m 95% confident.” When the accountant comes in, he is asked the same question: “What is 500 + 500?” He bows and replies, “What would you like it to be?” They hire the accountant.
  19. What do you call a mathematician who spent all summer at the beach? A tan gent.
  20. What do you call a political party in favor of agriculture? Pro-tractors.
  21. What do you call more than one L? A parallel!
  22. Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school? Because she sprained her angle.
  23. What shape is usually waiting for you inside a Starbucks? A line.
  24. How does a mathematician plow a field? With a protractor.
  25. Why was math class so long? The teacher kept going off on a tangent.
  26. What did the zero say to the eight? “Nice belt!”
  27. Why do teenagers travel in groups of three and fives? Because they can’t even.
  28. Why was algebra so easy for the Romans? X was always 10!
  29. What English king invented fractions? Henry the 1/8.
  30. Why didn’t the hyperbola feel sick? It was asymptote-matic.
  31. I would tell you a joke about an infinite line… But it doesn’t have an endpoint.
  32. Have you heard the latest stats joke? Probably…
  33. What do parallel lines and vegetarians have in common? They never meat.
  34. Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you? It’s easy as pi!
  35. Why did the mathematician spill all of his food in the oven? The directions said, “Put it in the oven at 180 degrees.”
  36. Why can’t you trust a polynomial to stay the same? They have too many variables.
  37. What was the geometry teacher’s favorite dance? The rhombus.
  38. What do you call a 12-inch nose? A foot.
  39. Why do numerators and denominators disagree? They’ve drawn a line.
  40. What geometric shape is lying in wait? A trapezoid.
  41. What do you get when you add 2n to 2n in French? It sounds 4n to me, too.
  42. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned in the lake? On average, most of it was over his head.
  43. What did the triangle say to the circle? “You’re pointless.”
  44. What do you call a student who’s great at algebra? An X-pert.
  45. Three statisticians are hunting, and they come upon a deer. The first aims and overshoots. The second undershoots. The third then shouts, “We got him!”
  46. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned? The pool was 3 feet deep, on average.
  47. What is the integral of one divided by a cabin? Log cabin? No, houseboat — you forgot the C.
  48. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first tells the bartender he’ll have a beer. The second asks for half a beer, and the third requests a quarter. After the barman places two beers in front of all of them, they say, “That’s all you’re giving us?” The bartender says, “Come on, guys. Know your limits.”
  49. What do geometry teachers have decorating their floor? Area rugs!
  50. What tool is best suited for math? Multi-pliers.
  51. A father noticed his son was sad coming home from school one day. “What’s wrong?” The father asked. “I really don’t like long division,” the son answered. “I always feel bad for the remainders.”

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