Dad Jokes

27 Soccer Jokes That Are So Totally Inbounds! Come On Ref!

These dad jokes are sure to make the crowd groan wild.

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For a lot of people, soccer is no laughing matter. And while it’s unlikely to find anything to cut the tension during stoppage time of a World Cup match, there are certainly other opportunities to infuse levity into the beautiful game. Whether you need to lighten the mood of the youth soccer team you coach or help your kid regain their sense of humor following a tough defeat, here are some of the very best soccer dad jokes to kick around.

  1. Why did everyone steer clear of the striker in the game? On the field, he was pretty offensive.
  2. Why did the soccer fan toss his beer in the air? He was celebrating a whirled cup.
  3. Why did the American soccer player use his hands? He was tired of de-feat.
  4. Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? She kept running away from the ball!
  5. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match!
  6. How do birds cheer for their soccer teams? They egg them on.
  7. What is the difference between a bad soccer team and the Bermuda Triangle? The Bermuda Triangle has three points.
  8. What part of a soccer pitch smells nicest? The “scenter” spot.
  9. Why couldn’t the world-class soccer player listen to music? Because he broke all the records.
  10. Why can’t you play soccer with pigs? They hog the ball.
  11. You are locked inside a car with nothing but a soccer ball. How do you get out? Unlock the door and pull the handle.
  12. Why is it always warmer after a soccer game? All the fans have left.
  13. Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
  14. What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas? COOOOOOOALL!
  15. Why couldn’t anyone see the soccer ball? The defense cleared it.
  16. Why was the skeleton always left out in a soccer game? Because he had no body to play with.
  17. How do we know that soccer referees are happy? Because they whistle while they work.
  18. What do soccer referees send during the holidays? Yellow cards.
  19. Why was the soccer field wet on a sunny day? The players dribbled all over it.
  20. Why did the soccer player bring string to her game? So she could tie the score.
  21. Why do soccer players do so well in school? They know how to use their heads.
  22. Why shouldn’t you play soccer in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs!
  23. What is it called when a dinosaur gets a goal? A dino-score.
  24. What kind of tea do soccer players drink? Penal-Tea.
  25. What’s the best state to shop for a soccer uniform? New Jersey!
  26. Why wasn’t the nose on the soccer team? It didn’t get picked!
  27. What is a soccer fan’s favorite grooming product? Oil of olay! Olay olay olay! Olay! Olay!