Bullying is what happens when misbehavior morphs into unacceptable aggression and someone gets hurt. It’s a serious issue with serious long-term psychological consequences. Unfortunately, that doesn’t make it any easier to spot or address. The frustrating truth is that kids face school bullying, sports bullying, sibling bullying, and even cyberbullying. Yes, the behavior can be corrected, but it needs to be discussed first. And kids need to believe that they don’t deserve to be picked on. (They don’t.)

Because bullying is such a complicated issue, Fatherly put together this guide to explain what happens to victims of bullying and bullies — and how to help both kinds of kinds. We talked to psychologists, behaviorists, and school administrators to find out everything there is to know about identifying bullying, reacting effectively to it, and teaching kids to be able to do so themselves.