We know that the sex lives of new parents tend to suffer considerably. There are practical, physical, and emotional reasons for this, but none of that makes it suck less. The fact that it is normal doesn’t make the loss of intimacy feel less immediate or less painful. Lack of sex is a challenge for parents and, as with most challenges, best met head-on. How can parents find time for sex after kids? What sex positions are best after pregnancy? And how can parents keep things quiet during sex when a kid’s in the next room over? These un-sexy questions that, fortunately, have real (often un-sexy) answers.

That’s why Fatherly built this guide to the ins, outs, and inevitable disappointments of sex after children. We talked to therapists. We talked to sexologists. We talked to biologists. We talked to divorce lawyers. And, as if that wasn’t enough, we talked to a lot of parents. It was an uncomfortable process, but we wanted to know about scheduling sex, stopping the bed from creaking during sex, having sex in the shower, and even trying some kinkier stuff during nap time. That information is all here.

Time for you to get yourself a brand new sex education.