On purpose or inadvertently, your kid is eventually going to come across pornography on the internet. The truth is that’s almost inevitable, not only because adult content is so easy to find, but because kids are naturally curious and tend to explore whatever spaces they have access to — including digital spaces. That means that children will end up stubbing their metaphorical toes on NSFW material, which will likely shock them and may lead to a few uncomfortable conversations.

Fatherly built this guide to porn because sex is hard to discuss with kids and industrialized sex is harder still. We talked to sex educators, researchers, and other parents about how to talk to kids about porn, how watching porn can effect ideas about sex, whether it’s OK to patrol kids online, and more.