All dads may be superheroes, but not every dad is Mr. Incredible. A cross between the Incredible Hulk and a blonde Captain America, this bored father turned stay-at-home dad has both an unwavering dedication to his family and a set of crazy superpowers every dad wants. But what would an ordinary dad do if they really did have the whole host of Mr. Incredible’s powers: super strength, endurance, and dulled sensitivity to pain. We asked 11 of them and this is what they said.
I’d raise awareness for Autism.
“I would use my superpowers to raise greater awareness for not just my son but all children on the Autism spectrum. I can’t even begin to tell you how many altercations I’ve had with people that judged me as a parent or my family based on something they often knew nothing about or that sadly we couldn’t control. I could use my powers to encourage everyone to give back to their community by focusing on one area they are truly passionate about. One person can’t change the world, but we can if we all work together.
I’d also use my powers to a figure out what the hell some of those super expensive strollers do. For two thousand dollars, I could just push my kid around in a 1995 Honda Civic.” — Steven Grossman, 40, California
I’d control video game rules completely.
“If I had Mr. Incredibles’ powers, I would lift all four of my sons in the air in one hand while I ended Fortnite play on the family Xbox with the other. I would then transport them outside to our backyard for a Wiffle ball game in which I would defeat them all by myself. I would also have the ability to deny and outlast their requests to play Fortnite for more than three hours a day.” — David Savage, 50, Pennsylvania
I’d become a real-life hero.
“I would join an emergency response team in some way: police officers, firefighters, etc. The concept of being a superhero makes for great stories, but in reality, the best way to find out where most people need help is to go through the proper channels we’ve already set up in society. I would want to be dispatched to the places where my super-strength would be most useful although I’m sure, every now and then, I’d chance upon a runaway train or overturned semi-truck, too.” — David Blackmer, 36, Ohio
I’d help out deployed fathers.
“I would fill in for all the Dad’s deployed in the military so that they could be home for Father’s Day.” — Andrew Swapp, 56, New Mexico
All the groceries in one trip.
“If I had Mr. Incredibles’ powers, I could definitely carry every grocery bag in on one trip. And I’d use the endurance to let my son pummel my head tirelessly while he vents his frustrations.” — Robert Brosset, 25, Iowa
“I would actually fix the stuff around the house that needs fixing but that I am completely incapable of repairing.” — Justin Lemieux, 36, Texas
“If I had Mr. Incredible’s powers, I’d quickly sneak home after work, hide outside my house, and listen-in to see how the kids were behaving. If they were acting out, I’d run to the store, buy flowers, run back, leave them outside, and text my wife … just remembered, had to do one more thing at work, flowers are for you … while I ran to the golf course and hit a bucket of balls. If they were behaving, I’d do the exact same thing, only I wouldn’t buy the flowers.” — Darryl Smoleroff, 36, Minnesota
I’d intimidate suitors.
“If I had Mr. Incredible’s powers, I’d probably make all my future daughter’s dates watch me pick up and hurl train cars. Just so they know I could.” — Miguel Guadalupe, 41, New Jersey
I’d monetize it.
“When I wasn’t saving people, I would be the most unstoppable running back in pro football and makes millions. You don’t have to score a touchdown on every play. I’d just average like 10 yards a carry or something.” — Clifford Hawley, 40, California
I’d make play time the absolute best.
“Well, being a father of seven, you have to feel like you are Mr. Incredible. I’d want to be the hero in my kid’s eyes. I wouldn’t necessarily be the person that’s going out and acting like a superhero. That can bring so much scrutiny. But I’d have the powers to be the to be the protector of the family. I’d be able to defend them in whatever circumstance.” — Justin Hill, 37, California
This question is too close to home
“I’m changing the tire on my car right now. I’ll think about the question later.” — George Lopercio, 35, Arizona