Parents forget things. In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Sean Connery reminds his son that he wrote something down in a diary “so I wouldn’t have to remember.” And if you’re trying to come up with clever things to say to your kids, you’re gonna need some easy jokes you can actually remember.
So, if you’re that dad that needs a cringe-worthy corny joke for every occasion (everyone?) you may soon realize that your arsenal of jokes are not as easy to pull off when they’re five sentences long. Of what use is a dad joke if it comes in 5 minutes after the punch line. Enter short jokes for kids: extremely hilarious quips will serve your comedic endeavors when you need the laughs fast. What they lack in length, they make up for in humor and if there’s one thing we’re sure of, it’s that they won’t fall short of making your kids laugh.
- Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
- What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
- Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
- How does Moses make tea?
- Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
It’s two gross
- What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
- What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little horse.
- What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
This tastes a little funny.
- Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
- Can February march?
No, but April may.
- Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
- Why did the M&M go to school?
He wanted to be a Smartie.
- Why didn’t the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
- How do you throw a space party?
- Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because they are easy to see through.
- What do you call a singing laptop?
- How do trees get online?
They just log on!
- Where does the sheep get his hair cut?
The baa baa shop!
- Why did the orange stop?
It ran out of juice!
- Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve
- How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night!
- What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A pork chop!
- What do you call a sad strawberry?
- What is a tree’s least favorite month?
- What do you call a sleeping bull?
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’d let it go!
- Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What’s faster hot or cold?
Hot, because everyone catches a cold.
- What does the ocean do when it sees its friends?
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
- What is a little bear with no teeth is called?
A gummy bear
- Why did the teddy bear skip out on dessert when she was on a date?
She was stuffed.
- Why did the toddler toss the butter out the window?
So she could see a butter-fly.