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Ranking All the Spider-Men in ‘Across the Spider-Verse’

Who is the best of the friendly neighborhood Spider-Heroes we've met so far?

SONY PICTURES

The first trailer for the highly-anticipated Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Part One debuted online over the weekend, giving us a first look at the sequel to the Oscar-winning sequel.

In the trailer, we see Miles Morales (Shameik Moore) listening to music in his childhood bedroom when he gets a visit from Gwen Stacy (Hailee Steinfeld) via inter-dimensional travel.

But these aren’t the only two Spider-Folks to appear in the teaser, as Spider-Man 2099 (Oscar Isaac) grabs Miles while he is doing some multi-verse web-slinging. With the introduction of yet another Spider-Hero, here is our current ranking of all the friendly neighborhood Spider-Men/Women/Pigs/etc. we have been introduced to so far.

Note: It’s important to remember that this universe has no actual crossover with the MCU (despite mostly unsubstantiated rumors of a potential crossover), which is why Tom Holland’s Spider-Man won’t be appearing here. Also, Oscar Isaac and Hailee Steinfeld are both members of the MCU — as Kate Bishop and Moon Knight —but play different characters in the Spider-Verse, specifically Spider-Gwen and Spider-Man 2099.

First-up, here’s that stellar new trailer

8. Spider-Man (Peter Parker)

The Peter Parker (Chris Pine) from Miles’ universe appears to be an extremely competent and heroic version of Spider-Man. But, ultimately, we don’t get that much time with him before he is killed by Kingpin (Liev Schreiber) and so he lands last on this list, simply due to lack of exposure.

7. Spider-Man Noir (Peter Parker)

Yet another Peter Parker (Nicolas Cage) who ends up in Miles’ reality, this version has the distinction of acting like a Humphrey Bogart character who spews out one-liners like “hard-boiled turtle slapper” and has “Slug” graphics appear when he’s beating up bad guys. Basically, he is awesome and I very much hope he appears in the rest of the movies.

6. Spider-Ham (Peter Porker)

Porker (John Mulaney) is a pig from an anthropomorphic universe where he got bit by a radioactive spider and is now the Spider-Vigilante of his reality. Is the character basically some silly wordplay come to life? Yes but who is going to say no to more Mulaney?

5. SP//dr (Peni Parker)

While Peter Porker and Spider-Man Noir may be funnier, SP//dr (Kimiko Glenn) is easily the coolest of the three alt-dimensional Spider-People we meet in the original. Peni co-pilots a biomechanical suit with a radioactive spider that she shares a telepathic link with, which is just so awesome.

4. Spider-Man (Peter Parker)

The best Peter Parker (Jake Johnson) does not show up in the trailer but the rough-around-the-edges, reluctant mentor version of Parker figures to remain a relevant part of the franchise moving forward.

3. Spider-Man 2099 (Miguel O’Hara)

Finally, we get to the Spider-Iterations that are actually in the trailer. We don’t know much about Spider-Man 2099 (Oscar Isaac) at this point but it’s clear he is a badass who is going to play a major role in the two-part sequel.

2. Spider-Man (Miles Morales)

Miles is clearly still figuring out this whole Spider-Manning thing but he is a hero who is impossible not to root for. And now that his origin story is out of the way, it’ll be exciting to see him really come into his own.

1. Spider-Gwen (Gwen Stacy)

From a universe where Stacy is the one who gets bit, Spider-Gwen’s appearance in the trailer is a reminder that she is extremely cool, totally capable, and arguably the best version of a Spider-Hero to appear in any of the movies.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Part One will be released on October 7, 2022.