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25 Funny Pirate Jokes for Treasure-Hungry Kids

Your kids with either laugh or arrrrrghh in exasperation.

  1. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? The letter RRRRRRR!
  2. What’s the best name for a pirate dog? Patches!
  3. Where did Bluebeard the pirate get his name? One day, the sea the wind came and blew his beard right off!
  4. Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at “C”!
  5. What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer? A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.
  6. What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes? 8 pirates.
  7. Why couldn’t the pirate crew play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck!
  8. Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
  9. What do you call a pirate that likes to skip school? Captain Hooky!
  10. What does the pirate say when his leg gets stuck in the freezer? Shiver me timbers!
  11. What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.
  12. How do pirates prefer to communicate? Aye to aye!
  13. Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs? Right where ye left him.
  14. How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheap? He bought it on sail.
  15. Why is pirating so addictive? They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.
  16. How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? An arm and a leg.
  17. How do you make a pirate furious? Take away the p.
  18. What’s a pirate’s worst enemy? Termites 
  19. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
  20. Why is pirating so addictive? They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
  21. What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie.
  22. What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet? I, I, R, and the seven C’s!
  23. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise? The plank!
  24. How much did the pirate pay for his earings? A buck-an-ear.
  25. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man with an eyepatch running around and waving his arms wildly. “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?” “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”