Like cargo shorts, family road trips, and shower sex, mascots are mostly better in theory than in practice. Having an animal or warrior or vague concept represent a team seems like a good idea, but most of the time the costumes are uninspired (DJ Kitty? WTF does that have to do with the Tampa Bay Rays?) awkward (Wally the Green Monster is a wack-ass muppet) or just creepy (looking at you, Junction Jack). These mascots are supposed to appeal to kids, but who wants a high-five from a Bald Eagle that looks like he’s always in pain or a terrifying fish with arms and legs? At the end of the day, there’s only one Major League Baseball mascot truly worth rooting for: Mr. Met. The baseball-headed mascot is beloved by kids, parties with celebrities, has a smokin’ hot wife, and, best of all, is not afraid of a good old fashioned sports feud. Here’s why Mr. Met is the greatest mascot of all.
So many Mascots are nonsensical abominations. Why is the Detriot Red Wings mascot a giant octopus? How did the Arizona Diamondbacks end up with a bobcat instead of a diamondback? Mr. Met has none of these problems. His look is simple and iconic, his dress He’s the obvious choice for the face of baseball because his face is literally a giant baseball. Pair that head with a Mets uniform, and you have a rare mascot that won’t traumatize children.
Mr. Met is the consummate family man. His wife, Mrs. Met, is widely known as “the Beyonce of Baseball,” and she spends her off days working for Metropolitan Hospitality, which hosts birthdays, bar mitzvahs, and weddings at the stadium. Together, they’re raising three little kids, who they tend to keep out of the spotlight. Mr. Met always dotes on her (and why wouldn’t he? She’s hotter than Queens asphalt in summer) and they’re always all smiles together. Sure, Mr. Met might let loose every now and again, but he’s a husband and father above all else.
Mr. Met has the distinct advantage of being from New York, which propels him into the national spotlight. He also has little competition, as Dandy, the Yankees mascot, looks like a rejected Labyrinth character. Mr. Met takes the opportunity seriously, regularly rubbing elbows with A-listers such as Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, and even Shaq. Having a crew this deep gives him a huge advantage over the other mascots and makes him a part of pop culture. Who else is going to do that? Junction Jack?
Baseball’s fiercest current rivalry isn’t between the Yankees and Red Sox or the Dodgers and Giants, but rather Mr. Met and Mets pitcher Noah Syndergaard. They’ve been fighting with each other for almost a year, starting when Syndergaard revealed his general discomfort with mascots (he specifically called Mr. Met “the most terrifying mascot“). Since then, they’ve traded harsh barbs back and forth, but Mr. Met took their epic clash to new heights when he took a photo of himself with Syndergaard’s mom. Ouch. But, hey, if you step at Mr. Met you better come swingin’.
Mother! How could you?!?!? pic.twitter.com/VukKt15V80
— Noah Syndergaard (@Noahsyndergaard) April 3, 2017
Mr. Met is everything a team and fan base should want in a mascot. He’s fun, he’s classy, and he’s so damn iconic the Atlanta Braves basically ripped him off with Homer the Brave (who sucks but at least is less racist than their old mascot). In a crowded field of characters, Mr. Met stands foam head and shoulders above the rest.