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The 50 Funniest Science Jokes for Smart Kids Who Like to Laugh

Don't be so negative all the time like an electron.

The best comedians know that being funny requires knowing your audience. If you’ve got a science lover on your hands, telling them a few science jokes lets them know you get it. After all, an understanding of some basic science is a prerequisite to getting the joke. It gives you a reason to laugh together, if not bond over Newton’s Laws.

The best part of these science jokes is the discussions that happen afterward. Science jokes force listeners to use their noggins, and kids will inevitably have questions — about how black holes are formed, how tectonic plates shift, and what the heck tungsten is. As you seek out answers together, the joke only gets better.

These days, we could all use a good laugh. Laughter has been shown to reduce stress, strengthen the immune system, relieve pain, and boost mood. In many ways, jokes are good for your health, and science jokes for science lovers, even better.

50 of the Funniest Science Jokes for Kids

  1. Q: Why did the cloud date the fog?
    A: He was so down to earth.
  2. Q: Why are chemists so good at solving problems?
    A: They’re always working with solutions.
  3. Q: What did one tectonic plate say when he bumped into another?
    A: Sorry! My Fault.
  4. Q: What did the infectious disease say when the bartender refused him service?
    A: Well, you’re not a very good host.
  5. Q: How did the thermometer insult the graduated cylinder?
    A: She said, “You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.”
  6. Q: What will never go viral no matter how popular they get?
    A: Antibiotics.
  7. Q: Why is so hard to wake up in the morning?
    A: Newton’s First Law: A body at rest wants to stay at rest.
  8. Q: Why is the dieting advice to “eat light” so dangerous?
    A: That’s how you become a black hole.
  9. Q: What did the science book say to the math book?
    A: You’ve got problems.
  10. Q: What are the primary elements of a sense of humor?
    A: Sulfur, Argon, Calcium, and Samarium. Otherwise known as SArCaSm
  11. Q: What do protons and life coaches have in common?
    A: They know how to stay positive
  12. Q: Why did the chemist hang up periodic table posters everywhere?
    A: It made him feel like he was in his element.
  13. Q: What did the helpless T cell say when facing the infection?
    A: Is there antibody out there?
  14. Q: Why is combining a proton and an electron to make a neutron so popular?
    A: It’s free of charge.
  15. Q: What sound does a sub-atomic duck make?
    A: Quark.
  16. Q: Where does criminal light end up?
    A: In prism.
  17. Q: Where did the chemist have his lunch?
    A: On a periodic table.
  18. Q: What do you call a bunch of iron atoms at a carnival?
    A: A ferrous wheel.
  19. Q: Why did the chemist read the book on helium so fast?
    A: He couldn’t put it down.
  20. Q: Why is YouTube stable?
    A: It constantly buffers.
  21.  Q: What did the chemist say when he heard oxygen and magnesium were dating?
    A: OMg
  22. Q: What do you call acid that’s a bully?
    A: A-mean-ol’ acid.
  23. Q: Did you hear about the two red blood cells that fell in love?
    A: It was all in-vein.
  24. Q: How do you throw a party in space?
    A: You planet.
  25. Q: Why do plants hate algebra?
    A: It gives them square roots.
  26. Q: Why did the physicist break up with the biologist?
    A: There was no chemistry.
  27. Q: What did the proton say to the electron to start a fight?
    A: I’m sick of your negativity.
  28. Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite element?
    A: Aaaaargon
  29. Q: How do geologists ask each other out?
    A: They say, “Are you a carbon sample? Because I’d love to date you.”
  30. Q: Why couldn’t the geologist think of the joke?
    A: It was on the tip of her tungsten!
  31. Q: Why were oxygen, hydrogen, and carbon wearing suits and ties?
    A: They were a formyl group.
  32. Q: What did the scientist say to the chemist whose lab smelled like eggs?
    A: Sorry for your sulfering.
  33. Q: What do you call it when a biologist takes a photo of herself?
    A: A cell-fie
  34. Q: Why is the ocean so salty?
    A: The land never waves back!
  35. A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
  36. Q: If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, what would that make them?
    A: Alloys
  37. Q: What happened to the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
    A: He’s Ok now
  38. Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too” — and he died.
  39. Q: Did you hear about the chemist who was arrested after throwing sodium chloride?
    A: It was a salt.
  40. Q: Why can you never trust atoms?
    A: They make up everything.
  41. Q: What did the cell say when it bumped its foot during the night?
    A: Mitosis!
  42. Q: Why don’t geologists like scary movies?
    A: Because they’re petrified.
  43. Q: Why did no one buy the arborist’s book?
    A: It was a hard cell.
  44. Q: What do phlebotomists say before they take your blood?
    A: B Positive!
  45. Q: Why did the woman break up with the zoologist?
    A: He was too cell-fish.
  46. Q: Why didn’t we have a bad cold season last year?
    A: All the viruses flu away.
  47. Q: What do you call it when your science teacher lowers your grade?
    A: Bio-degraded.
  48. Q: Why do researchers look forward to Fridays?
    A: They can wear genes to work.
  49. Q: What do you call a biologist’s self-portrait?
    A: A cell-fie.
  50. Q: Why do bovine veterinarians like to travel?
    A: They’re very cultured.