The best Christmas jokes and riddles for kids are, by nature, super corny and full of puns — i.e., dad jokes. Because we wouldn’t be a respectable dad publication if we didn’t give you some bonafide dumb jokes for every season and occasion. Unlike Halloween, Christmas isn’t an inherently goofy holiday; the best Christmas riddles and jokes for kids tend toward Christmas puns… and jokes about things that just happen to be cold. To help you fulfill your essential holiday duty — the telling of so-bad-they’re good “dad jokes” — we want you to have a stash of corny Christmas and winter jokes for kids at the ready.
With that in mind, here are 35 pun-tastic Christmas jokes and riddles for kids. These are the best Christmas jokes around. If at least one child laughs, then you know your work is done. For a spectacular meta-twist on the dad joke, we highly recommend telling these at random times of the year too.
30 Funny Christmas Jokes for Kids
- Q. How many presents can Santa fit in his sack for bad children? / A. Zero!
- Q. What did Santa Clause say to when he crashed his sleigh? / A. Well, now I’m really Scrooged.
- Q. What do elves do after school? / A. Their gnome work.
- Q. What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time? / A. A sad candy cane!
- Q. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? / A. “Can you smell carrots?”
- Q. What comes at the end of Christmas? / A. The letter “S”!
- Q. What do you call a grumpy reindeer? / A. Rude-olph.
- Q. What do angry mice send to each other in December? / A. Cross mouse cards!
- Q. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? / A. A snow ball.
- Q. What is the wettest kind of animal in Santa’s workshop? / A. Rain-deer
- Q. What kind of Christmas present just can’t be beat? / A. A broken drum!
- Q. What did the judge say to the angry advent calendar? / A. Your days are numbered!
- Q. What’s a snowman’s favorite cereal? / A. Frosty Flakes
- Q. Why is Santa so jolly? / A. He has a really great sense of elf.
- Q. Where does Santa go when Christmas is over? / A. To a ho-ho-ho-tel
- Q. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? / A. Horn-aments.
- Q. What kind of Christmas carols do you sing to fruit? / A. “Have Yourself a Berry Little Christmas”
- Q. What did Rudolph say about the big book of noses? / A. I already red that one.
- Q. Did you hear about the kid who was scared of Santa? / A. He was Claus-trophobic.
- Q. What is the best Christmas song to sing to your pet rock? / A. “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”
- Q. What’s the best Christmas present? / A. A broken drum – you just can’t beat it.
- Q. What do snowmen like to do at the weekend? / A. Just chill out.
- Q. What should you sing at a snowman’s birthday party? / A. Freeze a jolly good fellow.
- Q. Which body part do you only see at Christmas? / A. The Mistle-toe.
- Q. What did Santa say when a reindeer snuck up on him and stuck a tooth in his arm? / A. Oh, silent bite!
- Q. What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn’t prepare for his test on the Civil War? / A. You’ll go down in history!
- Q. What do you call a snow monster that has a six-pack? / A. The Abdominal Snowman
- Q. What’s the weather report ever Christmas Eve? / A. There’s a 100 percent chance of reindeer.
- Q. Why does Snoop Dog love giving gifts? / A. He’s really good at wrapping!
- Q. What’s Frosty’s favorite dessert? / A. Ice Krispie treats.
Best Christmas Riddles for Kids
- Q. What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus? / A. Claustrophobic.
- Q. I come in many colors, so beautiful and bright, I turn so many houses into a beautiful sight. What am I? / A. Christmas Lights
- Q. If the end of the year is on December 31st, then what is the end of Christmas? / A. S
- Q. On Christmas Eve, when Santa leaves his workshop at the North Pole, what direction does he travel? / A. The only way to travel from the North Pole is south.
- Q. If it takes five elves, five minutes to make five dolls, how long will it take 100 elves to make 100 dolls? / A. If it took one elf five minutes to make a doll, it would also take 100 elves making 100 dolls at the same time five minutes.