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30 Funny Christmas Jokes for Kids

Ho ho ho will become ha ha ha faster than you can say "mistletoe." Here are some real serious Christmas groaners for kids

The best Christmas jokes for kids are, by nature, super corny and full of puns — i.e., dad jokes. Because we wouldn’t be a respectable dad publication if we didn’t give you some bonafide dad jokes for every season and occasion. Unlike Halloween, Christmas isn’t an inherently goofy holiday; the best Christmas jokes tend toward Christmas puns… and jokes about things that just happen to be cold. To help you fulfill your essential holiday duty — the telling of so-bad-they’re good “dad jokes,” — we want you to have a stash of corny Christmas jokes for kids at the ready.

With that in mind, here are 24 pun-tastic Christmas jokes for kids. These are the best Christmas jokes around. If at least one child laughs, then you know your work is done. For a spectacular meta-twist on the dad joke, we highly recommend telling these at random times of the year too.

30 Funny Christmas Jokes for Kids

  1. Q. What did Rudolph say about the big book of noses?
    A. I already red that one.
  2. Q. Did you hear about the kid who was scared of Santa?
    A. He was Claus-trophobic.
  3. Q. What is the best Christmas song to sing to your pet rock?
    A. “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”
  4. Q. What’s the best Christmas present?
    A. A broken drum – you just can’t beat it.
  5. Q. What do snowmen like to do at the weekend?
    A. Just chill out.
  6. Q. What should you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
    A. Freeze a jolly good fellow.
  7. Q. Which body part do you only see at Christmas?
    A. The Mistle-toe.
  8. Q. What did Santa say when a reindeer snuck up on him and stuck a tooth in his arm?
    A. Oh, silent bite!
  9. Q. What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn’t prepare for his test on the Civil War?
    A. You’ll go down in history!
  10. Q. What do you call a snow monster that has a six-pack?
    A. The Abdominal Snowman
  11. Q. What’s the weather report ever Christmas Eve?
    A. There’s a 100 percent chance of reindeer.
  12. Q. Why does Snoop Dog love giving gifts?
    A. He’s really good at wrapping!
  13. Q. What’s Frosty’s favorite desert?
    A. Ice Krispie treats.
  14. Q. How many presents can Santa fit in his sack for bad children?
    A. Zero!
  15. Q. What did Santa Clause say to when he crashed his sleigh?
    A. Well, now I’m really Scrooged.
  16. Q. What do elves do after school?
    A. Their gnome work.
  17. Q. What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?
    A. A sad candy cane!
  18. Q. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
    A. “Can you smell carrots?”
  19. Q. What comes at the end of Christmas?
    A. The letter “S”!
  20. Q. What do you call a grumpy reindeer?
    A. Rude-olph.
  21. Q. What do angry mice send to each other in December?
    A. Cross mouse cards!
  22. Q. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
    A. A snow ball.
  23. Q. What is the wettest kind of animal in Santa’s workshop?
    A. Rain-deer
  24. Q. What kind of Christmas present just can’t be beat?
    A. A broken drum!
  25. Q. What did the judge say to the angry advent calendar?
    A. Your days are numbered!
  26. Q. What’s a snowman’s favorite cereal?
    A. Frosty Flakes
  27. Q. Why is Santa so jolly?
    A. He has a really great sense of elf.
  28. Q. Where does Santa go when Christmas is over?
    A. To a ho-ho-ho-tel
  29. Q. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
    A. Horn-aments.
  30. Q. What kind of Christmas carols do you sing to fruit?
    A. “Have Yourself a Berry Little Christmas”
Fatherly IQ
  1. Do you plan on taking your kids trick-or-treating this year?
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