The best Christmas jokes for kids are, by nature, super corny and full of puns — i.e., dad jokes. Because we wouldn’t be a respectable dad publication if we didn’t give you some bonafide dad jokes for every season and occasion. Unlike Halloween, Christmas isn’t an inherently goofy holiday; the best Christmas jokes tend toward Christmas puns… and jokes about things that just happen to be cold. To help you fulfill your essential holiday duty — the telling of so-bad-they’re good “dad jokes,” — we want you to have a stash of corny Christmas jokes for kids at the ready.
With that in mind, here are 24 pun-tastic Christmas jokes for kids. These are the best Christmas jokes around. If at least one child laughs, then you know your work is done. For a spectacular meta-twist on the dad joke, we highly recommend telling these at random times of the year too.
30 Funny Christmas Jokes for Kids
- Q. What did Rudolph say about the big book of noses?
A. I already red that one.
- Q. Did you hear about the kid who was scared of Santa?
A. He was Claus-trophobic.
- Q. What is the best Christmas song to sing to your pet rock?
A. “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”
- Q. What’s the best Christmas present?
A. A broken drum – you just can’t beat it.
- Q. What do snowmen like to do at the weekend?
A. Just chill out.
- Q. What should you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
A. Freeze a jolly good fellow.
- Q. Which body part do you only see at Christmas?
A. The Mistle-toe.
- Q. What did Santa say when a reindeer snuck up on him and stuck a tooth in his arm?
A. Oh, silent bite!
- Q. What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn’t prepare for his test on the Civil War?
A. You’ll go down in history!
- Q. What do you call a snow monster that has a six-pack?
A. The Abdominal Snowman
- Q. What’s the weather report ever Christmas Eve?
A. There’s a 100 percent chance of reindeer.
- Q. Why does Snoop Dog love giving gifts?
A. He’s really good at wrapping!
- Q. What’s Frosty’s favorite desert?
A. Ice Krispie treats.
- Q. How many presents can Santa fit in his sack for bad children?
- Q. What did Santa Clause say to when he crashed his sleigh?
A. Well, now I’m really Scrooged.
- Q. What do elves do after school?
A. Their gnome work.
- Q. What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!
- Q. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
A. “Can you smell carrots?”
- Q. What comes at the end of Christmas?
A. The letter “S”!
- Q. What do you call a grumpy reindeer?
- Q. What do angry mice send to each other in December?
A. Cross mouse cards!
- Q. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A. A snow ball.
- Q. What is the wettest kind of animal in Santa’s workshop?
- Q. What kind of Christmas present just can’t be beat?
A. A broken drum!
- Q. What did the judge say to the angry advent calendar?
A. Your days are numbered!
- Q. What’s a snowman’s favorite cereal?
A. Frosty Flakes
- Q. Why is Santa so jolly?
A. He has a really great sense of elf.
- Q. Where does Santa go when Christmas is over?
A. To a ho-ho-ho-tel
- Q. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
- Q. What kind of Christmas carols do you sing to fruit?
A. “Have Yourself a Berry Little Christmas”