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The 24 Funniest Chemistry Jokes for Kids

Oxidants happen.

When it comes to things that are funny, chemistry isn’t always top of mind. But as it turns out, there’s a lot of material to be made from protons, electrons, and the periodic table. Chemistry may seem like a serious topic, but those who know it best have managed to make some seriously funny jokes out of it. The genius of chemistry jokes is that they require an understanding of basic chemistry principles: Those with background chemistry knowledge will be in on the joke, and those who lack an understanding have reason to learn. That vaguely aspirational quality makes them the perfect learning tool — and good, wholesome fun in the Dad joke tradition. These funny chemistry jokes will definitely get — wait for it — a reaction.

    1. Q: Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? 
      A: He just couldn’t put it down.
    2. Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
      A: Na
    3. Q: What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
      A: HeHe
    4. A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
      The proton says, “Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it.”
      The neutron says “Are you sure?” The proton replies, “I’m positive.”
    5. Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
      A: Barium
    6. Q: What’s a sign of a bad chemistry joke?
      A: No Reaction
    7. Q: Hey want to hear a joke about potassium?
      A: … K
    8. Q: Why are atoms not considered trustworthy?
      A: They make up everything.
    9. Q: Why do chemists find it easy to work with ammonia?
      A: It’s pretty basic.
    10. Q: What do you say when someone throws sodium chloride at you?
      A: That’s a salt.
    11. Q: Why shouldn’t you drink water while studying?
      A: It decreases your concentration!
    12. Q: Why did Avogadro love golf?
      A: He always got a mole in one!
    13. Q: What do you call an acid with attitude?
      A: A-mean-o-acid
    14. Q: How often does a chemist need coffee?
      A: They need caffeine periodically.
    15. Q: How do you insult someone who’s good looking?
      A: You’re so basic, you’re a 10 on the pH scale.
    16. Q: What do you say when you run out of chemistry jokes?
      A: I should zinc of new ones.
    17. Q: What did their friends say when they found out oxygen and magnesium were dating?
      A: O-Mg
    18. Q: What did one acid say to the other?
      A: You’re overreacting.
    19. Q: What did the cat say after drinking methanol?
      A: MeOH MeOH
    20. Q: Why was the DJ called DJ Enzyme?
      A: He was always breaking it down.
    21. Q: Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium?
      A: Because you are BeAuTi-Full
    22. Q: What did the atom say at the electron sale?
      A: One cation’s trash is another anion’s treasure.
    23. Q: What did the chemist say when there was an explosion in the lab?
      A: Oxidants happen.
    24. Q: Why is organic chemistry so hard?
      A: The subject has alkynes of trouble.