As a dad, there’s nothing better than hearing other people articulate some truth from the wild world of parenting. It helps remind us that fatherhood is a shared pursuit and, well, that crazy stuff happens to every parent. There’s no better display of this than on Twitter, where parents regularly share the funny, silly, frustrating, and truthful events that happen in their lives. To that end, here are ten of the best dad tweets from this week.
Delayed Reaction
My son asked if I’d take him to see Sherlock Gnomes and I told him, “Gnome thanks.” I’ve been waiting for a high-five for three days now.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) April 2, 2018
That Isn’t the Droid You’re Looking For
My 3-year-old named her baby doll R2-3PO
I'm not sure if she's watched too much Star Wars or not enough.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 2, 2018
Simple Joys
I wish I loved anything as much as my kids love to scream for no fucking reason.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) March 31, 2018
A Dependable Easter Winner
Hey kids good luck with that weird mayonnaise based fruit salad thing that one aunt is bringing to Eater dinner later.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 1, 2018
Too Real
How to spot a parent:
▪️They don't know what hot food or drink tastes like
▪️They can only tell you how long they slept in minutes, not hours
▪️They have a pair of tiny socks in their pocket for no real reason
▪️There's a wet wipe stuck to their back#parenting— Jack's Dad (@DaddingAround) April 3, 2018
Keep Them On Their Toes
KID: Where did you hide the Easter eggs?
ME: With the snakes.
KID: …
ME: April Fools!
KID: Phew.
ME: There’s only snakes.— The Nighttime Pale Space Rider (@truegritrumble) April 1, 2018
Ready for Responsibility
My kids keep begging for a cat, but they have to prove they can keep the litter box clean first. It's been two weeks and man am I sick of pooping in the litter box.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) April 2, 2018
Reasonable Request
On the way to school, my 4 year old was devastated we could not give him the giant truck that he saw that was shaped like a cookie.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) April 3, 2018
The Worst Avenger
I was playing Avengers with my son and he said “I want to be Hawkeye” and I guess now I need a new son.
— Jake Vig (@Jake_Vig) April 3, 2018
They Grow Up So Fast
Me (to daughter): I would LOVE for SOMEONE to come help put the laundry away.
Daughter: Well I'd LOVE a COOKIE, but we don't always get what we want DO WE?
— Tim (@Playing_Dad) April 3, 2018
