Today is officially National Daughter’s Day: A day for moms and dad the world over to celebrate the fantastic little girls they’re raising to be badass women. And while all parents unquestionably love their daughters, many also love sharing the hilarious, wise, and goofy things said daughters randomly say on a daily basis. And there’s no better place to do just that than on Twitter, where parents regularly share the funny, silly, frustrating, and truthful events that happen in their lives raising kids. In honor of National Daughter’s Day, here are 10 of the best and funniest tweets from dads commemorating the wonderful insanity of raising a daughter.
5-year-old daughter: Girls get tired earlier than boys.
5-year-old: We use our brains all day.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 2, 2016
Imagination Is More Important Than Knowledge
7 y/o daughter: Why don't they have tape for your burrito but you could eat the tape?
And now I know what Einstein's parents felt like
— Zack (@Mr_Kapowski) January 29, 2016
I Would Do (Almost) Anything For Love
I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 11, 2015
Honesty Is the Best Policy
My daughter actually submitted this feedback at school. Not sure if I should ground her or buy her ice cream… pic.twitter.com/4v8Gjb9riv
— Mason Cross (@MasonCrossBooks) May 25, 2017
In case you're thinking about having a kid, my daughter just threw a tantrum because I wouldn't let her watch me poop.
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) December 31, 2012
Mall In the Family
I'm at the mall w my daughter & her cousin, and, bc I cramp their style, my kid has asked me walk behind them at a distance. So now I'm just a 51 yo man following two 12 yo girls around a mall
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) March 3, 2018
My daughter just beat me at Chutes and Ladders and asked if she could burn down the kitchen to celebrate.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 5, 2018
Dance Like No One’s Watching
I will never dance with the heaven-fueled freedom my 3 1/2 year-old daughter has. On the bright side, I almost never shit my pants.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 8, 2012
Line In the Sand(wich)
I cut the crust off my daughter's PB&J and I swear to god I heard her whisper that I'm her bitch now.
— The Dad (@thedad) December 29, 2015
My 5 year old daughter just gave me the greatest name for a sword-fighting superhero and I am going to use it as the title character of a comic in the future and you should basically just pre-order it now.
— Victor LaValle (@victorlavalle) September 25, 2018