As a dad, there’s nothing better than hearing other people articulate some truth from the wild world of parenting. It helps remind us that fatherhood is a shared pursuit and, well, that crazy stuff happens to every parent. There’s no better display of this than on Twitter, where parents regularly share the funny, silly, frustrating, and truthful events that happen in their lives. To that end, here are nine of the best dad tweets from this week.
Not Wrong There
5-year-old: When will our dog get tall?
Me: He's done growing. He'll always be short.
5: But he can't ride roller coasters.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 3, 2018
Modern Day Davy Crockett
My 2 year old son is at the park winning girls over with his amazing squirrel chasing ability, like he’s some kind of modern day Davy Crockett.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) May 4, 2018
All in the Name
Sometimes we get the family size package of cookies so there are more for my kids to let go stale when they put them away opened.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 1, 2018
8: I wish I could teleport
Me: where would you go?
8: the couch
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) May 3, 2018
Not the Same
Just had a 10 minute conversation with Jack to explain why 'shampoo' is not the same as 'poo'.
— Jack's Dad (@DaddingAround) May 2, 2018
My 5yo son just slept-walked into the kitchen, pulled down his pants and peed all over the kitchen table. Glad to hear you are pregnant with your first though.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 4, 2018
Start with the Classics
My level of parenting is "my 8-year-old just explained the plot of Alien in great and bloody detail to a group of 4-year-olds at this McDonald's PlayPlace"
— Father Drinks McGee (@drinksmcgee) May 4, 2018
The Hottest Product
Me: I want to keep my child prisoner but still make him think he’s camping.
Salesman: Done. pic.twitter.com/udNSIWwEbl
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) May 3, 2018
Deep, Dark Secrets
My little boy: Dada, can I tell you a secret?
Me: Of course (leans in)
MLB: (whispering) I want chocolate
— Gerry McBride (@GerryMcBride) April 28, 2018