As a dad, there’s nothing better than hearing other people articulate some truth from the wild world of parenting. It helps remind us that fatherhood is a shared pursuit and, well, that crazy stuff happens to every parent. There’s no better display of this than on Twitter, where parents regularly share the funny, silly, frustrating, and truthful events that happen in their lives. To that end, here are ten of the best dad tweets from this week.
Any Man Can Be a Father
Any man can be a father, but it takes someone who complains about how hoses are coiled to be a dad.
— Soren Bowie (@Soren_Ltd) May 11, 2018
Sometimes I look at my kids and think “You’re not the bosses of me!” But I never say it out loud, because you’re not supposed to smack talk your bosses.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) May 18, 2018
Extra School Days
Good thing they added extra school days to make up for snow so the last week of school my kids could have movie day, play outside day, and puzzle & board game day.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 18, 2018
Knock Knock Joke
Actual joke that my friend's son told him today:
– Knock Knock
– Who's there?
– Butt who?
– Butt Penis!
That's it. That's the joke. He's 3. And a genius.
— uunp ɯoɥʇ (@thomdunn) May 18, 2018
Is Your Refrigerator Running?
[i get home to find a note on the refrigerator that says "i'm leaving and i'm taking the kids"]
ME: *unplugs fridge from power outlet* you're not going anywhere you piece of shit
— The Hype (@TheHyyyype) May 18, 2018
Pop Up Books
Parenting tip: Be sure to pay $45 for a pop up book so your kid can break it in 14 seconds.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 17, 2018
A Quiet Place
— Jack's Dad (@DaddingAround) May 15, 2018
I know yesterday was about the moms, but I cut myself on a sharp sweet potato chip trying to adjust the carseat so I guess just take a minute to consider who the real hero is.
— Soren Bowie (@Soren_Ltd) May 15, 2018
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) May 12, 2018