As a dad, there’s nothing better than hearing other people articulate some truth from the wild world of parenting. It helps remind us that fatherhood is a shared pursuit and, well, that crazy stuff happens to every parent. There’s no better display of this than on Twitter, where parents regularly share the funny, silly, frustrating, and truthful events that happen in their lives. To that end, here are ten of the best dad tweets from this week.
A Brilliant Experiment
Just learned our 9y/o did an experiment on us. Lost tooth, told no one for 3d, kept tooth under his pillow. No $. Then he tells us he lost the tooth, next night there is money under his pillow. Then confronted us with his scientific evidence that the tooth fairy isn't real.
— Rogue Dad, M.D. (@RogueDadMD) April 23, 2018
The Perfect Crime
There's no way I'm taking the blame for something my wife thinks the kids did that I actually did.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) April 24, 2018
Our four year old has gotten way more into popcorn since learning it's preparation is explosion-based.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) April 24, 2018
Modern Alexander Pope
To err is human; to break something every day is to be a toddler.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) April 23, 2018
*How to dress like a Dad*
1. T-shirt from your team's championship 20 years ago
2. Ketchup and yogurt stains
3. That sweater with a half-zipper at the top
4. Instead of "on trend", your wardrobe is more "life's end"
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) April 23, 2018
Being a parent usually means remembering to put suncream on your kids, but then forgetting to put any on yourself.
At least my hands are really super sunproof right now.#parenting
— Jack's Dad (@DaddingAround) April 22, 2018
As my father used to say, a frown is just a smile that's been rotated 180 degrees on its x axis, assuming the origin is located at the longitudinal midpoint of said frown.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) April 24, 2018
The Most Dangerous Game
Me: What did you play at recess?
5-year-old: Cops and robbers.
Me: Who were you?
5: The T. rex.
She is the law.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 26, 2018
Oatmeal is Old News
Welcome to toddlerhood…
Your oatmeal craving toddler doesn’t want the oatmeal you just cooked anymore. That was SO two minutes ago. He wants cereal now. And he’s prepared to scream his face off if you don’t give it to him.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) April 24, 2018
My favorite thing lately is using the rest of something just so an almost empty container doesn’t go back into the fridge or pantry. I don’t even like this cereal I’m eating. What level of parenthood is that?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 25, 2018