As a dad, there’s nothing better than hearing other people articulate some truth from the wild world of parenting. It helps remind us that fatherhood is a shared pursuit and, well, that crazy stuff happens to every parent. There’s no better display of this than on Twitter, where parents regularly share the funny, silly, frustrating, and truthful events that happen in their lives. To that end, here are ten of the best dad tweets from this week.
Life Finds a Way
Son: you think you could make it out of Jurassic Park alive?
Me: *struggling just to make it through day to day life* without a doubt
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) April 16, 2018
7yo: Do you *always* have to be sarcastic?
Me: Do YOU?
7yo: No. Am I being sarcastic right now?
Me: Yeah, kind of…
Wife: I’d like a lot less sarcasm around here, from both of you!
Me: (to 7yo) Don’t worry, she’s being sarcastic.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) April 16, 2018
Great Hiding Place
We keep all our alcohol in the vegetable drawer because we know the kids will never go in there.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) April 15, 2018
Hit Series Idea
"1000 Ways to Die," only it's me trying to navigate the sea of scattered toys my toddler left all over the living room.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) April 15, 2018
Trying to convince my four year old the crossfitters at our park are ninjas.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) April 14, 2018
I know my 6yo will adjust swimmingly to parenting should she take that path because I just broke the news to her that her Tamagotchi died and she responded:
"Good. That damn thing was so loud and annoying.'
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) April 14, 2018
Let’s get married and have kids so instead of going out and spending hours talking and drinking we can spend hours waiting for a toddler to eat a chicken tender.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) April 14, 2018
One Simple Trick
Avoided a weekend youth soccer game for a 78th consecutive weekend by not having my kids signed up for youth soccer
— Bottlerocket (@bottlerocket) April 15, 2018
Happy to announce I can finally feel proud of my teen son again, now that he has the John Wick skin in Fortnite.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) April 17, 2018