Who lives in a pineapple under the sea and haunts your dreams? This deeply unsettling 3D rendering of SpongeBob. The porous fry cook may normally get up to some occasionally naughty nautical nonsense in the animated world, but in “real life” form he’s a Cronenbergian nightmare, a mute creature whose dry-eyed stare alone is enough to induce shudders. Can someone get him some Visine, please?
The rendering is was created by 3D artist Miguel Vasquez, who speed sculpted realistic versions of SquarePants and his Asteroidea pal Patrick. Now, Vasquez’s work is really impressive (check out his gnarly Boba Fett Vs StormTrooper Zombies) and his reimagining Bikini Bottom’s most popular residents is too. It takes some serious technical skill and a lot of imagination to transform a cartoon into a realistic rendering while maintaining its indistinguishable characteristics.
That said, could the duo be any more terrifying? Look at SpongeBob’s ears! Those telltale buck teeth lunging down from that top lip. The chin rolls, my god the chin rolls. And — shudder — those porous holes. Can he please keep the cap on? Patrick’s another story. He could at least pass for human — a bruiser of a human who’s beady little eyes have seen a lot of stuff, man.
Probably a pretty good idea to keep the kids away from this nightmare fuel. Again, Vasquez’s art is impressive, but couldn’t he leave poor, porous SpongeBob out of this? Everything the above photo screams I shouldn’t be! Coupled with these abominations, this real-life rendering trend is just too much. Some characters should stay in their original animated form. God help us all if Vasquez ever tries a “real life” version of Peppa Pig.