Question: What does Darth Vader call people who aren’t part of his family? Answer: NotHisKin Groundwalkers!
If you didn’t like that particular Star Wars-themed dad-joke groaner, then put your deflectors on, double-front! We’re about to make the jump to a galaxy full of scum, villainy, and one-liners so corny, they must have come from a moisture farm on Tatooine. Ever since Star Wars stormed into the collective consciousness in 1977, there have been almost as many Star Wars parodies as there are actual Star Wars things. From Mad Magazine to Family Guy to Robot Chicken and beyond, making fun of the Force is part of the ways we express our love for that wonderful energy field that surrounds us, binds us, and often, makes us want to buy a lot of lightsaber toys.
Even before the big Disney purchase, Star Wars has always been positioned as something for the whole family, despite the fact that parents routinely are murdered by their children in pivotal moments of the saga. Still, kids love Star Wars, and most fun parents are totally on board, too. But how do you impress the Star Wars kid who knows everything? Informing them about the finer points of the second draft of The Empire Strikes Back screenplay written by Leigh Brackett or debating about which aspects of Boba Fett’s backstory are or are not canon can be a buzzkill for a little kid. When it comes to making kids happy, ancient film geek knowledge is no match for a corny joke by your side.
Here are 19 kid-friendly Star Wars jokes to kick to make your kids feel the pun-side of the Force.
(Editor’s Note: Except for the very first joke, all of these jokes were written by me, just letting the Force flow through me. That’s why they are really bad dad jokes. Though, I am certain some of these puns are universal, meaning maybe you also have similar versions of these jokes! Credit for the Anakin joke comes from Twitter, specifically from Uproxx writer Mike Ryan, who had the joke told him by someone at airport security. Remember when airport security was a thing?)
1. How long has Anakin Skywalker been evil?
Since the Sith Grade
2. What’s Yoda’s advice for going to the bathroom?
Doo-doo or doo-doo-not-do.
3. What was Luke’s secret codename before he got his mechanical limb?
4. What do you call food made by baby Wookiees?
It’s good, but it’s a little Chewie
5. What’s the name of Obi-Wan’s twin brother?
6. What do you call Kenobi triplets?
7. Why did everyone in the Resistance stop speaking to Finn on the planet with the giant sun?
He called it a Rey of sunshine.
8. Where does Kylo Ren get his creepy black clothes?
From his closet.
9. Where does Kylo Ren buy his clothes?
From the mall. I mean, have you seen how much Kylo Ren stuff they have there right now?
10. Why does Kylo Ren’s lightsaber have so much crackle?
Snap and Pop were busy.
11. What did Rey say when she met Leia?
“Chewie wants a hug, too.”
12. What kind of spaceship did Luke fly in grade school?
13. When Luke joined Red Squadron everyone played a prank on him. What was it?
He got a Biggs Wedgie.
14. What did everyone call Lando before he came a really good pilot?
15. How do Sith Lords say goodbye?
16. What is Jyn Erso’s favorite color?
I’m not sure, but I bet it’s a rouge one.
17. What do you call C-3PO when he’s being a good listener?
18. Did you hear about the Gungan who became a taxi cab driver?
His name is Car Car Binks.
19. What did Leia’s adoptive parents say when she used to sleepwalk as a child?
Uh-oh, it’s the rise of Skywalker.