Having a kid is maybe not the most punk thing in the world to do. Unless you’re rebelling against all the other punks, in which case it’s punk AF.
Now that the little rebel is on the way to help smash the patriarchy and cause some havoc in their Montessori school, they’ll be needing a name befitting their heritage. So pump some Descendents into your partner’s belly-hugging headphone and check out these names inspired by the lads and lasses of punk rock.
READ MORE: The Fatherly Guide to Baby Names
Note there’s no “post-gender” names listed, because you would have named you little punk X regardless of the Y-chromosome. Which, again, is punk AF.
Names for “Boys”
Check your liberty spikes and wipe off your oxblood Docs. Here are some punk names fit to be shouted after “Oi!” It’ll make the playground way more interesting.
For: Jello Biafra Why: This is the guy who made a lisp and a super high vibrato crazy powerful. Plus he’s been an incredible crusader for social justice. After all, even though they were important, all the other Dead Kennedys have pretty pedestrian names. Bobby? John? Ted? C’mon.
For: Billie Joe Armstrong Why: The frontman for Green Day gave punk a vital shot in the arm right when a new generation of rockers needed it most. Also, your little one is going to be making a lot of Dookie.
For: Iggy Pop Why: As the godfather of New York proto-punk, Iggy influenced a ton of those who would melt faces in the 80s, 90s and oughts. Plus, like most kids, he doesn’t like wearing clothes. Perfect name for a “Real Wild Child.”
For: Milo Aukerman Why: This frontman for hardcore punk group the Descendents, Aukerman was also a postdoctoral biochemistry researcher, which proves punk is smart as hell. Not like those people who might ask why you named your kid after that movie set in Hawaii. Tell them to get a Clooney.
For: Joe Strummer Why: To just Cut The Crap, Strummer is simply a badass first name. Also, Joe Strummer of The Clash was simply one of the most badass, influential musicians in the history of rock.
For: The Ramones (all of them) Why: Because they worked to destroy the overproduced rock of the 1970s and ushered in an era of raw as hell East Coast punk. Besides, having a little Ramone of your very own will make you declare “We’re a Happy Family.”
For: X Why: Seems like there is nothing more punk than naming your kid a single letter. Particularly if that letter is linked to the L.A. punk band of the same name. But of course, if you want to mess with people you can tell them your kid named themselves after the owl on Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood and then watch their head explode.
Names for “Girls”
The female of the punk species kicked just as hard against the pricks as any gentleman punker ever could. Here are the badass ladies that your little one can aspire to.
For: Joy De Vivre Why: For her role as a singer in the anarcho-punk group Crass. One of the pioneers of the female voice in straight-ahead punk music, you can assure with this name, your Joy will never have Penis Envy.
For: Poly Styrene Why: Because the X-Ray Spex, which she fronted, managed to have an insane influence on punk even though they only released a single album. Part Somali and all dayglo, Poly lived her best punk life. Perfect name for parents looking for kids who will experience a Germfree Adolescents
For: Corin Tucker Why: It can be argued that without Sleater-Kinney, the band she fronted with Carrie Brownstein, there would be way less oomph in the riot grrrl genre of punk. There would also be less oomph in the world, period. Plus, Corin is a lovely name for any little grrrl.
For: Exene Cervenka Why: The singer for X was not only the edgy counterpoint to John Doe’s dreamy tones, but she was a killer artist to boot. Thus, giving your kid this name is absolutely a Wild Gift.
For: Siouxsie Sioux Why: Because she was able to bridge pop punk and art rock with The Creatures and had a killer voice and captivating style that lured the world in. Sioux remains tremendously influential. Plus her name is amazing for a kid who’ll spend at least some time screaming like a Banshee.
For: The Runaway’s “Cherry Bomb” Why: Joan Jett destroyed with this song that was at once insanely empowering and highly destructive, and it remains a lady-rock anthem that’ll make a dude feel weird and stoked every time. Not to mention you already know what you’ll write in your birth announcement: “Hello world I’m your wild girl!”
For: Courtney Love Why: Regardless of how you feel about her relationship with Kurt Cobain, her musical turn in Hole showed she had just as much power and chops as her husband. While she may not hold the punk (okay “hard rock”) mantle anymore, that doesn’t mean her namesake won’t be more than just Pretty on the Inside. She’ll be powerful on the outside too.
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