Coach Mando’s Advice For Youth Sports Parents & Dad Coaches
Brendan Wayne, the man who is The Mandalorian, has been coaching youth sports for more than 20 years. Here’s his advice to other coaches and parents on the sidelines.
When you watch the hit Star Wars TV show The Mandalorian — or the new film The Mandalorian and Grogu — and you start to wonder if there’s something about being a bounty hunter with a heart of gold that can help you with youth sports, you’re not nuts. It’s possible that just through osmosis, thanks to the motions of Mando himself, you’re getting some good sense of how to be a better sports parent. Here’s why: The actor who has played the body of The Mandalorian since 2019, Brendan Wayne, has been coaching soccer for 23 years. In addition to starting a new podcast, Hats & Helmets, Wayne is currently the coach of the Lady Lancers soccer team at Grant High School in California.
“I’ve played sports my whole life,” Wayne tells Fatherly. “It’s one of the greatest things a kid can learn to do.”
As the summer starts to give way to the beginning of school, we reached out to Wayne to get his core principles as a longtime coach of youth sports. This man may know how to calm down Baby Yoda, but that’s just acting. As a soccer coach, Wayne is an even bigger expert. Here’s his clear advice for parents of sporty kids, youth coaches, and why athletics can be great for all kinds of kids.
Fail together, succeed together.
Wayne’s core coaching philosophy isn’t focused on winning; instead, he feels the only thing that makes a team is the notion of togetherness.
“I want my kids to fail together. I want them to succeed together. I want them to make mistakes in front of their friends and have to speak to it and live through it. If I can try to simplify it, my philosophy is to provide a competitive strength-building environment where we are allowed to fail to succeed.
“I’d also try to take the stigma of women competing against each other and bring them together just like I grew up with my buddies, because I always felt like there was a huge difference. And maybe I’m wrong, but my idea is to allow them to have the team atmosphere where they can have their buddies.”
If you can’t stop your sideline coaching, become a ref.
Many parents have been there. The game is going a certain way, and you can’t help yourself with your thoughts. You’ve shouted out something; you’ve even has words with a ref or the coach. What should you do? Wayne’s feelings are very, very clear.
“Go home. I mean, if you can’t get it together, go home. I’ve said this to some parents, and I’ve been let go or I’ve lost players. But I’ve also gained others who have sometimes come back and apologized after the moment passes.
“I know we all believe in our kids, and that’s good, and you should, and you should believe in them by supporting their success, not yours. Not your idea of what that success means. And if you know the game, go learn to coach it. Or the best one is go become a ref. We need refs, and we need more community.
“I’ve reffed for 13 years. It’s terrible. People are terrible, but the highs are amazing when that kid smiles at you or whatever it is, the game when it's going right, man, it's great.”
When the ball is in play, it’s time to cheer — not coach.
Even as a coach, Wayne doesn’t shout at his players while the game is actually happening. The coaching comes before the game happens, not from the sidelines.
“If the ball’s in play in an area, you just let them go. If Joni’s over there and she’s trying to defend somebody and I’m yelling from the sideline, like ‘Hey, look at me,’ now I’m beat. You’ve got to let them know how much you love them. I always tell them: ‘I love watching you play. Keep it going.
“It’s not saying ‘run faster.’ It’s not that.”
Figure out why your kid might want to quit.
Sometimes, a kid can lose interest in their sport. Or maybe they’re feeling like they’re not part of the team. What can coaches and sports parents do? For Wayne, it’s not about quitting right away but about looking at athletics more holistically.
“When they start to fade away, I think you, as a parent, better take a real good inventory of why. Is it the coaches?
“It breaks my heart to see kids who stop playing because their coaches are too unconnected. Those coaches might be too connected to themselves and their record. But are they quitting because they feel like they’re not good enough? If that’s the case, you can make it clear that you love them no matter what they do.”
Multiple sports are great.
As an actor and performer, Wayne knows a thing or two about how to keep all aspects of his body in shape — fitting into that Mandalorian armor doesn’t just happen by accident. One of his biggest beliefs, which he applies to youth sports, is that a person has to look at the big picture. For Wayne, it’s all about making sure kids are getting different kinds of exercises.
“First, we’ve got to normalize multiple sports again. We’re seeing catastrophic injuries on a huge level because we’re running kids in the same sport year-round with coaches who don’t have any idea how to fully develop a physical body.
“So, put them in multiple sports, let their whole body build. Have your kid play a lot of sports, do a lot of different exercises — not to the point where they’re degrading their bodies — but to the point where they’re building their bodies in a way that makes them flexible.”
Remember, this is supposed to be fun.
If you do need to say something to a kid who looks frustrated out there in the game, keep in mind that most of these kids aren’t going pro. Some might, but that’s not the point of this moment.
When Wayne sees one of his kids on the field and they need inspiration, he sometimes just tries to lighten the moment.
“Sometimes, I just yell out: ‘Hey, laugh! This is soccer! Nobody’s paying you today!’ This is supposed to be fun.”
