Viral Reddit Post Asks Men Who They Can Confide In. The Answer Is Shocking.

In Reddit’s popular r/AskMen community, Reddit user u/Venusemerald2 asked an important question that sparked a conversation she wasn’t anticipating.

A man is sitting on a dark couch alone. He looks unhappy, he holds his hands to his face and closes ...
Kseniya Ovchinnikova/Moment/Getty Images

In Reddit’s popular r/AskMen community, Reddit user u/Venusemerald2 recently asked an important question that sparked a conversation she wasn’t anticipating — one that reinforces the power of connection and the debilitating loneliness that can take hold in its absence. “I’m worried about men’s mental health. Men, who do you confide in 100%?” she posed in the title of his Reddit thread.

For context, u/ Venusemerald2 explained that earlier in the week there was a Reddit thread “about lies men are told about women,” and one response in that thread had her pondering another question.

“One of the comments said that women don’t care about men’s feelings,” she explained to r/AskMen. “I’m a woman, but that aside, who in your life do you open up to 100%? Dad, brother, friend?” And the thread blew up with close to 10,000 comments where men got vulnerable about who they confide in when they need support, and the answer is shocking.

u/ElegantMankey's comment was given the most upvotes when he replied: "No one.” He noted that there was no one he could open up to “even close to 100%.” His comment received more than 350 replies alone, but he wasn't the only one to answer that he had no one to confide in.

u/Cyberhwk shared that he has "nobody," and instead is very careful about who he tells what. "Kinda have to section it out to not put too much burden on one person," he noted, to which u/myguyxanny replied: "Sounds about right."

For u/No-Conversation1940, he said he had someone he was able to talk to, but now he is left on his own. "No one. My Dad was that person," he shared. "I learned quickly after he passed that it would be no one from then on, and that piled on to the grief and stress I felt at the time."

u/Appropriate_Day2144 shared that he has his wife, but admits that she’s not able to handle it when he’s struggling. "I'll sit and listen to my wife for as long as she needs (and she's a monologuer), but her suggestion to me is to see a therapist if I need help," he admitted. "She's not really equipped to handle anything from me other than stoicism."

The answer of having "no one" to talk to was an overwhelming theme in the Reddit thread and one that u/ Venusemerald2 wasn't expecting.

While vulnerability doesn’t necessarily come easily to anyone, it can be especially difficult for men who grew up under pressure to keep their feelings to themselves. As uncomfortable as opening up can be, working on it can truly elevate your game as a parent, colleague, partner, and friend — and it’s healthier for you too.

Men with a limited social network are at a heightened risk of experiencing chronic health issues, feelings of isolation, and even suicidal tendencies. Furthermore, they often encounter challenges in maintaining healthy family relationships and struggle to provide their children with a positive example of what meaningful friendships entail.

Vulnerability isn’t only showing extreme emotions, it can be as simple as sharing your true feelings about your day or asking to brainstorm how to solve a problem at work — really it just boils down to being more open. So how can we get more comfortable with vulnerability and reaching out to others, so we can get the support and connection we need?

Start by giving yourself permission to express those feelings without self-judgement — and start small. Remind yourself that true vulnerability is a sign of strength, not weakness, and you can start slowly by sharing smaller concerns or feelings with someone you trust. You don’t need to lay everything out in one day, but the more you share, the better you’ll feel.

Gradually, this can free us up to having deeper discussions and can make vulnerability feel healthy and far less uncomfortable.

To read the full thread of who men confide in — check out the Reddit community’s post.