Date Night

This Hilarious Viral Reddit Thread Proves We Can't Handle Long Movies

Are movies too long, or are we too old?

Originally Published: 
Young couple fell asleep during a boring movie in cinema. Focus is on woman.
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Do you remember sitting on the couch when you were younger with the family to watch a movie, and ten minutes into it, you heard your dad snoring? It was hard to understand as a kid why that was how every movie night went down, but it makes total sense now that we have our own kids. According to a viral Reddit thread, if you feel the same, you’re in good company because, apparently, we can’t handle long movies. For parents, this is a said, and hilarious truth, one that almost certainly impacts date night, all the time.

Reddit user u/Plus-Statistician80 posted a call asking, “What film made you say, ‘Holy sh-t there is still an hour left?’” in the popular r/AskReddit community, and users came up with many options. A quick read through the thousands of comments, it’s clear that parents really want shorter movies when they have personal downtime (because we don’t get a lot of it), and we prefer shorter date night movies, too.

There were some movies that were mentioned several times in the thread for being way longer than they should have been.

The 2008 Adventure/War movie Australia, starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman, started a comment thread more than 200 deep over the 2-hour and 45-minute runtime.

"Australia. I thought it was a pretty decent western, and the scene of the cattle running up the ramp onto the boat was a nice ending note," u/unlikely-rock-9647 wrote."Then World War II started…"

u/Lava_Lemon agreed, writing, "Came here to say Australia. The movie FULLY ENDED (not the first act, the movie) and then started a second one, and thought we wouldn't notice. There's no need for that."

"Came here to say this. Australia is one of my favorite attempts at a modern epic but I completely agree it should either have an intentional intermission or be two movies," u/missbonniegene added. "I give this disclaimer whenever I recommend it to people because it’s stunning to watch but seems to last for centuries."

Another movie that was mentioned hundreds of times in the thread is Pearl Harbor, the 2021 War/Action movie, starring Ben Affleck and Kate Beckinsale. The movie ran for more than three hours, and it felt that way, according to Reddit.

"I was waiting for the end credits and suddenly realized there was 1.5 hours left of the movie," u/AndroChromie wrote.

"My favorite review of this movie said, 'They packed a two-hour movie into three hours,'" u/persp73 added.

The movie was so long, u/DragonGT still remembers the dual VHS tapes. "That was one of those movies that came on 2 VHS tapes," they shared. "If I remember right, as a kid, I always just put in the second tape."

u/Ghost7319 struggled with Justice League, the Zach Snyder cut, which was more than four hours long.

"I was watching Justice League for the second time a couple months ago, and there were quite a few scenes that I didn't remember, (but I'd only seen it once) and about halfway through it I started thinking I've been sitting here a LONG time," u/Ghost7319 explained. "I then realized I was watching the Zack Snyder version that was 4 hours long."

"The Snyder Cut would be immeasurably better if they cut out 90% of the slow-mo and literally all of the Wonder Woman theme chanting except for when she first showed up on screen," u/EccentricMeat added. "Cutting to her with the dramatic ass music and “pause for effect” cringe EVERY SINGLE SCENE just felt like I was watching a parody."

u/WarhammerRyan said he had to split the viewing of Justice League into two installments. "Split that into 2 viewings with a friend. After the first half, he laughed, saying he was glad I suggested splitting it for him or else he would've bailed," they wrote. "He only got through Snyder cut knowing that when we sat for part 2, it was the action part."

"Jurassic World Dominion felt like it was 6 hours long to me," u/left2drown admitted, and several others agreed about the 2022 movie with a 2-hour and 27-minute run time.

"Movie felt like it was generated by AI," u/wiseoracle wrote. "Things happened, and I just didn't care because none of the story or acting gave me a reason to care."

u/gamegirlpocket hinted that the movie felt so long because the storyline was awkward. "They teased dinosaurs roaming the Earth and in major cities, then 80% of the movie took place in an underground lab, far away from human civilization, with a bunch of giant locusts," they explained.

"Well it had to be that long so every character with more than two lines could have at least 8 hero moments where they almost die but make it at last second," u/Seamlesstango agreed.

Ultimately, there were a few Redditors that summed this whole thread up for parents: “Any film I watched past 9 pm since I turned 40,” u/uncleoftheyear16 shared. And others chimed in with their age rules.

u/SunflowerSeed33, they have a very defined time cut-off explaining, “25 over here. 8 pm is my cut-off for starting a movie.”

And for u/smellysasquatch, it’s even earlier. “[Thirty-five] here, my cutoff is 3 pm. I haven’t seen a movie in 10 years.”

u/Sweet-Peanuts replied, adding, “66 and 7 pm. I love sleeping so much.”

Others in the thread admitted they’ve stopped trying to fight the need to stay awake for these long movies. Instead, they’ve gotten more creative with their TV watching.

“I will literally eat dinner and watch an hour-long show for 20 minutes, pause it, and then go to bed,” u/FrostorFrippery admitted.

But u/RealisticDelusions77 has gotten a little more creative. “We watch most movies now over two nights,” he shared. “Our home theater room, our rules.”

To read the full thread of advice — and to consider how you’d splurge if you could — check out the Reddit community’s post.

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