Man Leaves Hilarious Baby Growth Chart in a Babies ‘R’ Us

The chart, which compares babies to heroin and ninja stars, is surprisingly accurate.

Originally Published: 
Reddit / obviousplant

Who knew that after week one a baby-to-be is the size of a government tracking device? The baby growth chart is an easy way for expecting parents to understand the natural development of their child during pregnancy. It provides simple size comparisons (“At 22 weeks your baby is the size of a grapefruit!”) so that even though parents can’t see their child-to-be, they can have a better idea of it. One man decided to redo the chart with a set of bizarre and hilarious comparisons and placed it in Baby’s R Us where it would be in plain view of expecting parents.

The chart in question was revealed on Reddit after user obviousplant posted his edited version. After the first week of pregnancy, his chart shows, your baby is approximately the size of a “government tracking device.” Other weird, but accurate comparisons from obviousplant’s chart include, but are not limited to a baby being the size of $100 worth of black tar heroin (8 weeks), a regretful Smurf (30 weeks), and .045 Ashton Kutcher (40 weeks), the latter of which sounds like the premise of a script producers would totally greenlight.

Reddit / obviousplant

What makes the whole thing even funnier is that obviousplant’s chart is pretty damn accurate. While the comparisons may be slightly exaggerated for the sake of comedic effect, they are, for the most part, spot on with the average size of a fetus during each stage of pregnancy. The chart even lists the average weight and size of an average, healthy baby for every comparison, just to show he’s not pulling these numbers out of his ass.

If you’re expecting and wish you had this handy chart at home, don’t worry, obviousplant posted a printable version in the comments. So hang it upand start counting down the days until your beautiful child is finally the size of a chicken nugget.

This article was originally published on