Imagine a bizarre world in which Home Alone is being rebooted. Wait. You don’t have to imagine that world — you live in it! In August Disney revealed that a remake of the beloved classic Home Alone will hit the Disney+ streaming service sometime in the next two years. But will Macaulay Culkin, the man who originated the character of 8-year-old Kevin McCallister, return to the role? Obviously, the answer is no, because Culkin is 39-years-old now. But the signatories on an online petition wants him back anyway. The best part? Culkin is 100 percent on board, with one or two (hilarious) stipulations.
Over the weekend, Macaulay Culkin commented on the somewhat tongue-in-cheek petition proposed on Twitter with an unusual goal, to say the least. Here’s the idea: Remake Home Alone, but this time have grown-up Culkin play Kevin again, and have no one in the film acknowledge that he clearly is not 8 years old. Hilariously, this “petition” incorrectly identified Culkin as “38” and spelled his name wrong, too. And so, the actor said he was in support of the idea as long as his age and name were corrected.
For what it’s worth, Culkin has actually already beaten everyone to this joke before. Back in August, when the news of the reboot was first announced, he posted a picture of himself — at home and alone — eating takeout food on the couch, looking exactly like how so many of us feel inside.
(Sidenote: can we talk about Macaulay’s red, white and black confetti wireless mouse sitting on his laptop? Does his trackpad not work? If so, I’m feeling that really hard. Right there with you, bro. And if that part is staged, what a detail! What an artist!)
Also, even though this idea is clearly a joke, there are two reasons why it’s not that crazy. First of all, having adults play children in movies or stage plays is pretty common. Remember, Stockard Channing was 33-years-old when she played a 17-year-old in Grease? Yeah, that shit is surreal, and, arguably, less entertaining than the fever dream of Culkin playing young Kevin in a David Lynchian Home Alone reboot. (Also, back in 2009 there was a stage-version of Neil Gaiman’s book Coraline, in which the titular 11-year-old was played by then-55-year-old actress, Jayne Houdyshell. I saw it. It was awesome.)
Finally, Home Alone canon has already established a multiverse of multiple Kevin McCallisters. In 2002, a direct-to-video film called Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House featured not only a different actor playing Kevin McCallister (Mike Weinberg) but also seemed to establish an entirely different continuity. I’m not making this up. This exists.
So, when you consider all of that, does Macaulay Culkin returning as Kevin McCallister really seem that strange? Perhaps it’s time for all of us to put our hands on the side of our faces and yell that existential yell. Because as someone who recently turned 38-years-old, I’ve come to believe Kevin McCallister is a pretty old soul, and I’ve decided it would be good to see him again.
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