Struggling with infertility and perinatal loss can feel very isolating. It’s hard to navigate the medical side of trying to get pregnant and not internalize the feelings of being broken at the same time. Add to that the taboo nature of talking about the struggle. It’s easy to feel like we’re all alone. That’s why it was so impactful when Chrissy Teigen first spoke about her own journey with infertility and pregnancy loss. And she’s opening up again in a new interview tackling infertility, the loss of her son Jack, and why she’s so vocal about it in the first place.
Chrissy’s decision to be open about infertility, pregnancy complications, and perinatal grief early on opened her eyes to many things that often go undiscussed. “I’ve been open about so much throughout my life, and so [infertility] didn’t seem like a crazy thing to talk about. But the more I spoke about it, the more I realized how taboo it was,” Chrissy told Refinery29 in a new interview.
Her experience in talking about the hard parts along with the good mirrors my own. There’s a strong desire to find a community of parents who have been through the same thing. But we’re also acutely aware that no one wants to hear those hard parts.
For those of us who have been through pregnancy loss, it’s not easy to talk about the challenges of getting and staying pregnant. It can often lead to unintentional harmful responses (like “at least it was early on” or “there must have been something wrong with the baby”), which can spiral the grief and pain further.
And Chrissy seems to walk through that all with her platform of millions of people because she sees it as a greater good for those silently wishing someone understood.
“Quietly, I was getting DMs and letters — like handwritten letters — and emails. I realized that people didn’t think they could talk about it on an open forum, but they were happy to do it privately,” Chrissy said. “I realized people don’t feel comfortable talking about this.”
For Chrissy, she’s not sure she and John are done growing their family – however different that may look for her now. “My mind is open to any way there is about having that child. I’m honestly not sure if I would ever stop having children,” she says. “They just bring light and life to our household and to the world. I love being a mom, and I can’t imagine ever saying, ‘Well, I’m done, I’m good on kids.’ John will probably have to be the one to pipe up and say that [laughs]. But my IVF journey has not ended at all.”
Through all this, she’s been a strong advocate for the community of us who have walked a similar path. We know that pregnancy and growing our family are rife with challenges and struggles. And all are valid.
“There’s no one way to [become a parent], and there’s no straight road at all,” Chrissy says. “I’ve seen the highest of highs and the lowest of lows with it. I encourage anyone to be open and honest as they’d like to be. And they’ll get the same from me.”