On last night’s Tonight Show, Adam Sandler debuted a new song dedicated to the doctors and nurses caring for people with COVID-19. It was vintage Sandler, a combination of a juvenile sense of humor and remarkably sincerity.
The Sandman, playing an electric guitar and wearing mirrored sunglasses to hide how often he peeked at the lyrics to the as yet unmemorized song performed on a zero production value video call with host Jimmy Fallon.
The first few lines are all about the doctors who deliver kids, take care of grandma and “give you an old lollipop after hitting your knee with a hammer,” which come to think of it is true but really damn bizarre. Then he moves on to the Croc-wearing nurse who “give you ice packs and pain medication while your doctor is smoking on the roof.” LOL.
Then, he turns to the current crisis and gets more serious for a couple of lines — “Doctors and nurses will save us from this mess, if we get them the supplies that they need” — before reverting to silliness — And I hope they save us soon, ’cause I’m really, really sick of my family.”
Who else should appreciate them? According to Sandler, nerds who get doctor’s notes to get out of gym class and school nurses who give deodorant to “stinky kids.” He then sings the praises of doctors fighting the disease in countries around the world and “Chinese doctors in America,” a subtle jab at the anti-Asian racism that’s risen with the disease.
Sandler calls for more ventilators and masks before calling for everyone to come together because “I’m teaching math to my kids, and that can’t be good for America.” Plenty of parents out there can surely relate.
The song crescendoes into a sort of call to action before ending on the perfectly bizarre, Sandlerian line: “‘Cause I really, really miss hugging my mailman.”